25 Signs You’re Absolutely Not A Morning Person

By Rachel Lay
16th Nov 2017

Waking up in the morning is kind of like calling your mum. You put it off almost every time, but they’re both things you pretty much have to do. We’re the type of people who have their morning routine so streamlined that we can snooze our alarms at least 10 times (our housemates love us!) and still be on time. Which, if you ask us, is a pretty huge talent. 

We’ve teamed up with Dare Coffee Co. to bring you this (probably too real) list because they get us on the whole mornings suck thing. That, and they’ve just launched the ever-so-fancy Dare Cold Pressed coffee which is our fave way of getting a delicious coffee en route to work, but sans the queuing up for at your local coffee spot part. AKA—it's music to non-morning people’s ears. 

  1. You have at least 10 alarms set on your phone 
  2. And they’re all in two-minute intervals
  3. You probably have a closer relationship with your snooze button than your S/O
  4. You can wake up and be out the door in five minutes
  5. Including showering
  6. Meetings scheduled before nine in the morning ruin your life
  7. You have absolutely slept through all 50 of your morning alarms 
  8. At least once a week, actually
  9. Small talk in the office is your nightmare, unless that small talk involves you dishing out coins and getting a coffee
  10. Nothing confuses you more than people who choose to wake up early and exercise
  11. Like, what?!
  12. You’re beyond productive at night, though
  13. You’ve 100% considered negotiating your start and finish times with your boss. Who wouldn’t love a 10am start?!
  14. You don’t really “get” breakfast
  15. And don’t get us started on morning people. You don’t really “get” them either
  16. You can’t turn Netflix off before midnight, don’t argue, it’s just a thing
  17. Likewise, getting to bed before midnight is simply just not a thing in your books
  18. You probably have blackout curtains in your bedroom
  19. If not, you’re googling them right now because they sound like a dream
  20. Don’t even think about getting us started on waking up early to do things when you’re on holiday
  21. You’ve defs ended relationships over not being a morning person
  22. You can hum your alarm's tone bar for bar on request
  23. You’ve got ~bed head~ hair down pat.  
  24. Pretty much your entire make up collection lives in your car, because that’s where you get ready most days
  25. Your day doesn’t start without coffee

Guilty? It’s okay, us too. Fake that ~morning person~ vibe by grabbing a Dare Cold Pressed, stat. Your 8am meeting will thank you.

Editor's note: This article was produced in partnership with Dare Coffee Co. Thank you for supporting the sponsors who make The Urban List possible. For more information on our editorial policy, click here.

Image credit: Stocksy

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