Health & Beauty

25 Things You’ve Said If You Are Health Obsessed

By Desta Cullen
13th Apr 2016

Are we living in world gone mad for health? I’ll answer for you: you’re damn right we are.

If you haven’t made sauerkraut, some coconut-based ‘bliss’ ball type snack or scoured the shops for a million obscure ingredients to “go vegan”, you’re probably talking about doing it. Which means you’ve probably also uttered one of these statements. Excuse the sweeping generalisations, but here are 25 things you’ve probably said, if you are a FitBit-toting, Lycra-clad health nut.

1. “I’ll just have a green juice.”
2. “You can never have too much activewear, right? It’s motivation.”
3. “Should I be shredding or bulking?”
4. “What’s the difference between vegan, ketogenic and paleo?”
5. “I’d never go vegan because: CHEESE.”
6.“Oh yum, this tastes really good!” *gags internally*
7.“I’m thinking of starting crossfit.”
8. “Yoga is sooo much more than exercise. I’m all about the lesser-known asanas.”
9. “I just started reading the Art of Fermentation by Sandor Katz.”
10. “Let’s try that new barre thing.”
11. “No! Don’t touch it yet, I have to Instagram that smoothie bowl first.”  
12. “Have you had a turmeric latte yet?”
13. “Coconut oil is a good fat.”
14. “I’m so over kale.”
15. “Do you think seaweed would be a good replacement?”
16. “I HATE you, mountain climbers.”
17. “Wait. Kombucha has a mother?”
18. “Why can’t every day be cheat day?”
19. “It’s only April/May/June; still plenty of time for my exercise resolutions.”
20. “I want a Nutribullet.”
21. “A-SIGH-EE.”
22. “At least red wine is good for you.”
23. “I’m avoiding caffeine right now.”
24. “Do you serve matcha?”
25. “Can I have that on coconut/almond/soy milk?”

Image credit: Ariana Gillrie

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