29 Things You Wish Your Workmates Would Stop Doing

By Chloe Sputore
2nd Jul 2016

29 Things You Wish Your Workmates Would Stop Doing, Work, Colleagues

Workmates…sometimes you love them, sometimes you loathe them.

When you’re spending upwards of 38 hours a week confined in a small space with the same people, cracks are going to begin to form—the best thing you can do is make sure you are not guilty of these office faux pas! Feel free to post this article on your workplace fridge in lieu of a passive aggressive note to give others the hint too.

Note: In case anyone is wondering (aka my boss), this article is not based on my experiences of working at The Urban List, everyone here is rad #dontfireme!

Here’s 29 things you wish your workmates would stop doing.

  1. Sneaking delicious snacks from your desk drawer when you’re in the bathroom/out of office—if you’d just ask we’d probably let you have some.
  2. Not sharing delicious desk drawer snacks with you.
  3. Stealing your lunch from the fridge—if we were the boss this would be a fireable offence.
  4. Creating a vibrant play area for bacteria by letting their food go off in the fridge—and then pretending it’s not theirs for way too long.
  5. Repetitively doing ANYTHING at all, i.e. tapping their foot, smacking their lips, clicking their pen, slurping, sighing…just stop breathing already!!!
  6. Asking what you’re doing on the weekend just to get you to ask them back—you will not break me!
  7. Being late for meetings, we’re all busy but some of us just aren’t dicks about it.
  8. Not cleaning their gosh darn dishes—you know there’s no such thing as a kitchen fairy, right? We shouldn’t have to resort to passive aggressive signs people!
  9. Bringing smelly lunches to work, i.e. tuna or reheated fish of any kind. Do yourself a favour and eat something more delicious.
  10. Making everyone else feel like a poor, unstylish fool with their online shopping addiction.
  11. Hogging the printer—do you really need 99 copies of that meeting agenda?
  12. Coming to work sick and then proceeding to touch common objects including but not limited to your computer, desk, pen, notepad, fridge, microwave, bathroom door, office door. Stay home and keep your germs to yourself, dammit!
  13. Playing dirty songs when they are office DJ #awkies.
  14. Asking “Can you do me a favour?” and expecting you to say yes before you know what you are in for.
  15. Being excessively nice to everyone—your chipper morning mood is not appreciated at this time of day.
  16. Not acknowledging the existence of others in the morning. We get it, you haven’t had your coffee yet.
  17. Asking you questions like you are Google.
  18. Talking too much.
  19. Talking too little.
  20. Telling everyone about the delicious cake they made on the weekend and not bringing any in for the office to enjoy.
  21. Grooming themselves at their desks.
  22. Playing explosion roulette with the freezer and their daily can of coke. Not cool bro!
  23. Telling you about all the exercise they are doing—we haven’t got up from our desks since 2007, stop making us feel bad!
  24. Not replacing the milk, ink, printer paper, etc.
  25. Sitting/standing awkwardly close to you, or worse, sitting on your desk. #ewww
  26. Turning the air-conditioner so low that your co-workers have had to resort to owning a ‘work blanky’.
  27. Not changing the toilet rolls when they’re empty—can you even adult?
  28. Trying to befriend you by giving you really lame nicknames.
  29. Typing really loudly. Your productivity is really impacting our productivity.

Image credit: Lifehack

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