Without your parents it is likely you would not be alive right now. As their offspring, however, it is your duty to mock them endlessly.
You mock them with your siblings, with your friends, with anyone who will listen. You make fun of them to their faces. They try to mock you back but are really bad at it. You may have noticed that Baby Boomers and other parent-aged people have certain obsessions that they can’t let go of. It is hard to tell why they are so hung up on these things, but they seem to be common among that generation.
You may have noticed your parents fixating about some of the following:
- The NBN. It’s obvious they aren’t entirely sure what it is, but they know it has to be rolled out ASAP. Baby Boomer politicians are totally on board with this ‘tech’ fetish.
- Fruit. It’s important to always have it in the house but also to talk about its ripeness and quality.
- Gold Lotto. No matter how much money you have saved up, you could always use another two or three mil.
- Whether Foxtel is worth it. If they are getting the best deal from Foxtel. Why can’t they get the shows they like on Foxtel.
- Annoying habits their partners have.
- Native flowers and the fact they survive longer.
- Where the cheapest petrol is.
- Upgrading their desktop PCs.
- Nice soaps to go in the spare bathroom.
- Comparing weddings.
- How ads are louder than the TV shows.
- Preparing extensively for road trips of any length.
- The most comfortable shoes for walking.
- The most comfortable shoes for around the house.
- Offhand stuff you said when you were a teenager that they just can’t let go of.
- Their next three-month holiday.
- Whether Nicole Kidman is nice or not.
- Which remote does what.
- How much we spend on breakfast.
- What the weather presenter on the news is wearing.
- Scented candles.
- If it’s time to mow yet.
- Fad diets.
- What the neighbours pets are doing.
- Facebook, particularly sharing weird or embarrassing stuff on your wall and not realising everyone else can see it.
- Getting to the airport three hours early.
- How expensive everything is at the airport.
- The chances of rain.
- How much rain fell in last night’s storm.
- If you heard what Karl Stefanovic said the other day.
- How lovely and fresh the bread is.
- Their health conditions.
- Their friend’s health conditions.
- What people you went to school with are doing with their lives.
- Superannuation.
- Where naughty kids’ parents are (usually about two metres behind said kids).
- How there’s too much information available these days.
- Coffee Club. Especially any new items on the Coffee Club menu.
- The stuff growing in their garden and the critters that are trying to eat it.
- Buying properties and negative gearing until there are no properties left.
Yeah, your parents might not get you, but if you're not doing these 25 things now you're 25 you need to 'adult' better.