A Letter To Hipster-Haters: Don’t Worry, The Yuccie Is Here

By Bianca O'Neill
5th Feb 2016

the yuccie is the new hipster

Hipsters. Has anyone ever enlisted as much worldwide inter-generational rage as thou? (Except maybe beatniks. And hippies. And goths. And emos... Well, you get my point.)

Unlike the aforementioned youth culture offerings—which delivered seismic shifts in art, culture, and music—hipsters delivered overpriced, lukewarm lattes and bikes without gears. They delivered us groundbreaking small businesses which found delightful excuses to rip us off whilst also making us feel totes discerning, like those fuckers who sell "artesian ice" to "vintage" bars in Brooklyn. 

But alas, my dearly bearded friends, there is a new, wayyyy more annoying sherif in town—and they are going to make you look like George Clooney in comparison. (Not the Clooney in those annoying coffee ads, though, that Clooney is the blurst.)

According to Mashable, the hipster is dead and the yuccie is the new kid in town.

What is a yuccie, you ask? It's a young urban creative...cie. Apparently they haven't worked out what the last three letters stand for yet, but I'm sure when they do, they'll create a meme about it.

It's simply not enough that yuccies have a creative job. Or a well paying job. They want a creative job that pays them a shizload, so they can buy a penthouse and decorate it with ironically battered furniture. Then they can complain about how the neighbourhood has become gentrified, whilst also lining up at the Doughnut Time pop up downstairs for two hours so they can get AT LEAST ONE GOOD INSTAGRAM, GOD DAMN.

They left their job in banking so they can curate a more authentic personal brand via a burgeoning Snapchat empire, sponsored by the bank they just left.

They're vegans who wear fur. Or meat eaters who donate to PETA. They start campaigns on GetUp against both, because they don't want to be a part of the discrimination culture problem, they want to be a part of the SOLUTION. 

Unless the solution takes up their weekend, 'cause shit, weren't we meant to go to that cheese and craft beer festival this weekend? Can't I just sign a petition online somewhere?

But above all, I guess the most prominent feature of the yuccie is that they hate hipsters, just like the rest of us. I mean, who in 2016 has a tattoo sleeve AND a burgeoning app empire that home delivers you cold press via the coffee emoji? 

It's time for a changing of the guard: All hail the yucky! I mean, yuccie...

Image credit: Hello Giggles

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