Wondering what the first week of Autumn has in store? The stars have aligned and dealt out the good, the bad and the (very, very) ugly. As usual, we’re here with some cosmic advice to get through it all. Here’s what you’re *really* in for this week.
Capricorn
The last week of Summer got you feeling down, Caps? Turn up the heat in your love life this weekend and head out a cheeky (and freaky) romantic getaway with bae.
Aquarius
This is a shout out, Aquarius: be bold and get out of your comfort zone this week. Breathe through the cringe and triple message that hot guy from tinder who hasn’t replied to your last two ‘???’ messages. He must have just run out of Wi-Fi… and 3G. Yeah, that’s it.
Pisces
Put yourself first this week, Pisces! You want to cancel that dreaded social event and Netflix and chill all night instead? Do it. You want to scoff a pint of salted caramel ice cream paired with a bottle of red all to yourself? Why not! Treat yourself like the queen you are.
Aries
Block him on Facebook, delete his Snapchat and archive his WhatsApp messages—this week you’ve got to move forward and put the past behind you Aries. Onwards and upwards! Swipe left on broken heart syndrome.
Taurus
Sit back and reflect on your life this week, Taurus. Be grateful and appreciate all those around you who brighten up your life in a billion tiny ways. Oh yeah, and it’s time to call your mum. She worries about you.
Leo
Frankly Leo, you’re feeling tired and cranky. Soz, but someone had to say it. Sign up for that 6am F45 class and drop a squat. And DON’T just take a photo of yourself out front with the gym sign. We’re onto you, boy.
Gemini
Last week’s busy work schedule had you inhaling that Chinese take-out. It’s time for a CLEANSE! Stock up your fridge with kale, green goodness juices and Kombucha. Your body is a temple.
Cancer
Channel your inner Ryan from MAFS. Breathe in, breathe out and walk away. The b*tch isn’t worth it. Be the bigger person this week and don’t sweat the small stuff. Think: WWRD. (What would Ryan do?)
Virgo
Let’s face it, Vigro. Your life is a shambles. De-clutter and re-organise your sh*t, starting with getting that memo pin board from Kmart. Because you’re totally going to use it, right?
Libra
Your Sunday sessions are getting a little out of hand, Libra. Sundays are for brunch, yoga, sleep and dreading work. Reel the partying back and #treatyourself.
Scorpio
Take on an extra shift at work this week and make some extra BANK for that mid-year trip you’re secretly planning (we won’t tell your boss, promise). Hmm, how does Hawaii sound?
Sagittarius
Sagi’s, you are machines! You deserve to kick back, relax and lose track of time watching the Food Channel. Pick your poison—The Great Australian Bake off or Food Safari? Por que no los dos?
Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist