This is it, the big one. The season finale. But it’s also literally the big one—it’s the longest episode of Game of Thrones ever.
Opening in Kings Landing and it kinda feels like an Elizabethan movie. New music, watching them all get ready and heading into the Sept of Baelor for the trials of Cersei and Loras. The High Sparrow is absolutely relishing his power. That is disgusting—carving that symbol into Loras’s head in front of everyone like that. What’s Cersei playing at? She’s way too calm and collected with her wine. Setting the little peasant kids onto the Grand Maester to kill him is brutal.
And, yep, Lancel has just confirmed it: Cersei wants to blow up the whole place. This creepy AF music is really doing a great job to set the scene of doom. Margery has cottoned onto the fact that Cersei not showing up means that some crazy shit is definitely about to go down. High Sparrow is having none of this questioning of his authority, and refuses to let anyone out. Rookie move, mate. Oh, wow. Holy shit. She actually did it. Cersei literally burnt that place to the ground.
Damn, Cersei is not stopping. If blowing up a solid chunk of the Westerosi nobles wasn’t enough, she’s now getting Frankenstein Clegane to torture that Septa. She really holds a grudge.
Swett Jesus Tommen, what are you doing? Well, that’s unfortunate, but the outcome was expected. Cersei should have probably seen this coming, one way or another.
Urgh a meal with the Frey’s and I’m having PTSD flashbacks from the Red Wedding. Jamie is visibly uncomfortable about this chat with Lord Frey and I don’t blame him—he’s the creepiest human being ever. Solid verbal bitch-slap though. Frey is not remotely impressed.
Yas! Sam! I’ve actually missed your cheery face. Old Town looks quite tranquil, almost. Look at him, being all cute and Sam-like while he’s trying to worm his way into becoming a Maester and deal with this ridiculously bureaucratic receptionist guy. Oh my god, this library. It’s the library that all libraries dream of becoming.
So much nostalgia; Jon retracing his steps through Winterfel’s dining room, having a casual chat with Melisandre about his life. Oh Davos, I’ve been waiting for you to have a showdown with Melisandre for a while, glad you’re letting rip now. Tragic defence on her part ‘I was wrong’. Probably the most democratic move Jon, banishing her.
I’m really enjoying this new, non-princess like, sassy Sansa. She really has changed since back in the day. Finally she’s actually being nice to Jon. Pathetic apology about not telling him she’d asked the Vale for help. Also, wow, she totally rejected becoming Lady of Winterfel—saying Jon is a true Stark. It’s almost ironic? Winter is here just as the Starks take back Winterfell.
Oooohh Dorne, where it looks ridiculously warm except for the icy backhanded compliments coming out from the Queen of Thornes. How on earth did Varys get there so quickly?! The time/space continuum in this show is all types of messed up. Are they all plotting against Cersei? Is Varys on Danarys’s side? I have so many questions!
Dario, it’s so cute how you want to follow Dany and don’t give AF about simply being her ‘mistress’. Really enjoying this Dany x Tyron combo. After all, ‘you’re in the great game now, and the great game is terrifying’. Dany needs someone like Tyrion who’s just conniving and scheming enough to be useful, and not a liability. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tyrion speechless until right now when he got the Hand of the Queen.
Ugh, Frey you’re literally the worst. WHAT THE ACTUAL oh my god YASSSS Arya you’re such a boss! Going in to learn the tricks of the face swapping trade to seek vengeance for the Red Wedding. Kind of gross through, stewing his kids. But yassssss, adios Frey.
Littlefinger is such a creep. He’s officially worn through all the good will I had towards him after swooping in and saving the battle. Ouch Sansa, burning him with that ‘pretty picture’ of his and flat out rejecting him. He’s the worst, trying to drive a wedge between Sansa and Jon. Hopefully Sansa is having none of it. Sidenote: this snow in this scene is legit making me cold.
Sad Benjen is leaving Bran bus also THRILLED to see more of the Tower of Joy. That’s one hell of a lotta blood of Lyanna. Why do you have to whisper it?? Speak, girl, speak so we know for sure Bran can hear you! Are you confirming the whole theory of Lyanna + Rheagar = Jon?!? I don’t want to say yes but I’m going to say it anyway?
And yes, Jon has zero clue of his origins. He’s also having a really hard time managing these lords of the north. Lyanna Mormont is such a boss-ass bitch—#girlboss goals. Love that grown men are following the words of a sassy 10-year-old who just shot all of them down for being fair-weather friends. So dramatic the swords, but god bless the King of the North. Uh oh, Littlefinger does not look impressed at all. Sansa and I are immediately suspicious of what he’s going to plot to do now.
Jamie you’re in for some absolute turmoil at Kings Landing. He looks rightfully dumbfounded. Cersei has a hell of a lot of explaining to do while she’s sitting on the Iron Throne.
We have ships, we have Greyjoys, we have unsullied. We have Dothraki on boats. We have Dragons flying in all of their CGI majestic greatness. ABOUT TIME. YASSSS Danarys is finally heading towards Westeros.
I can already see it. This year is going to be a long hard wait. But next season looks like it’s going to be thoroughly excellent.
Image credit: via TechInsider