This week we bring you quite possibly our most important recipe to date. We present, our Lord and Saviour, the sausage roll. As the embodiment of everything it means to be a pre-adolescent growing up in the late twentieth century, this little crispy meat wrap represents everything we love about year three birthday parties, third-year uni housewarmings and grand final day house raves.
Here’s how to make the best sausage rolls in the world.
- 400g of sausage mince
- 300g of chicken mince
- 1 finely chopped onion
- 1 crushed clove of garlic
- 1 grated carrot
- 1 grated zucchini
- 1 cup of fresh breadcrumbs
- 3 tbsp of chopped parsley
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 tsp of freshly ground nutmeg
- A sprankle of salt & pepper
- 4 sheets of frozen puff pastry
- 1 tbsp of sesame seeds
- Tom sauce to serve
- Pop to the shops to pick up the ingredients. Don’t forget to bring your reusable Coles bags, the earth is, of course, shrivelling up into a lifeless husk around us, it may as well feature two less plastic bags when it does.
- Head home and wash your bed sheets. Apparently, you’re supposed to do that every two weeks, and I think we speak on behalf of the entire human race when we say, “are you fecking serious? I watch Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban Blu-ray more frequently than that”.
- Preheat your oven to 2-hundy deg-cel. Line two baking trays (real talk: you’ve doubled the recipe, so four) with baking paper. Grab a bowl and mix both minces with the onion, garlic, zucchini, carrot, parsley and breadcrumbs. Add one beaten egg, as well as nutmeg and seasoning and then split the mixture into eight equal portions.
- Cut the pastry sheets in two equal parts and pop a portion of mince in a line on the centre of each piece. Beat the last egg and brush a lil’ bit of it along the long edges of the pastry.
- Roll the pastry up to enclose the filling and cut it into six pieces. Place those on a tray, seam side down, and brush the top with egg, sprankle it with sesame seeds and seasoning, and jab the top of each with a fork.
- Repeat with the remaining mixture and bung the trays in the oven for twenny minnies before reducing the heat to 180 deg-cel for ten minnies, until the rolls are golden brown. Serve with several litres of tomato sauce if you know what’s good for you, and post to Instagram with the hashtag #theyseeussrollingtheyhating.
Looking for more amazing recipes? Look no further than right here.
Image credit: Claire Plush for The Urban List