Gym season is near, and if you’re one to get ahead of the rest in aim of attaining that summer bod’ then your gym season is already in full swing.
As the changing rooms start to get hot with naked bodies, and the weights room becomes a waiting game for the next free machine, we look around the glorious place we like to sweat at, to pick out the best (or worst) kind of people you’ll definitely meet at the gym.
#1 The Gym-goer Who Has Been In Hibernation
We’ve all been there before, skipped a winter of workouts in replacement for sleep-ins, movie days in bed and cakes, pizza and fries. These people can be spotted hiding in the corner of the room and puffing like there’s no tomorrow.
#2 The No-sweat Gym Attendee
Ever seen those peeps at the gym that don’t break a sweat? Firstly, how? Secondly, have you even worked out? They’re normally pretty fit, have a face full of make-up and can be caught taking selfies. We know you only walked on the treadmill for five minutes Sheryl, stop lying to yourself.
#3 The Friend That Drags You To The Gym And Is Way Fitter Than You
Come along, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Little did we know that this is not keeno friend ‘Tom’s’ first class, and he was lying when he said “I haven’t been to the gym in ages”. Don’t fall into the trap of attending the gym with your friend who you know is going to whoop your ass.
#4 The Super-enthusiastic Gym Bunny
You know that one that squeals at the sight of seeing friends and jumps to and fro between machines and is the most eager person in the class? Yep we know the one. The one we all love to hate and that the gym instructor hates to love. Let these sweet souls live their fun filled lives that revolve around the gym.
#5 The Machine Hog
The classic douche who switches between three machines, yet leaves his items across all three to show they are unavailable. Otherwise known as the machine hog, they also like to pretend they don’t realise other people want to use the machine. We say just go for it, throw their stuff on the ground and get to it.
#6 The Competitive Random
On the odd occasion, we like to re-enact a scene of survival of the fittest in our head, and while doing so we like to race the person next to us on the treadmill or bike. Just make sure that you will win, ‘cause nobody likes a loser.
#7 The Annoying PT
Have you ever caught yourself in a great conversation with a reasonably good-looking dude at the gym and you think, heck yea this guy is totally flirting with me? They’re asking you about what type of workouts you like to do and how much weight you can lift. And then, they give you their business card and you realise you weren’t getting hit on, you were actually succumbing to the annoying PT who thinks they can get you in better shape. Leave me along please!
#8 The Gym Selfie Queen (or King)
These days we see them everywhere, hiding in the cubicle, looking slyly in the bathroom mirror, or being completely obvious and taking a pic in the middle of the gym. With social media playing in an important role in people’s lives these days, the rise of narcissism is big.
#9 Social Suzie’s
Social Suzie’s are normally seen on the weekends and don’t really ‘work out’ but more, walk and talk on the treadmill. I mean props to them for even making it to the gym on the weekend, but please save the gossip of last nights escapades for the post workout coffee.
#10 The Regs
The regulars are there every single day, and have a strict routine combined with spin class on Monday, leg day on Tuesday and stretching on Wednesday. The regs are besties with the class instructors and PT’s and will be seen giving nods and waves to everyone at the gym.
#11 The Yogis
Guys, yoga belongs at a yoga class, unless of course your fancy gym holds yoga classes and therefore, your yoga still needs to remain in that class. We don’t want to see your underwear through your pants as you press into downward facing dog. And we definitely don’t want to know that you’re much more flexible than us as you ease into the splits.
#12 The Protein Junkie
Yes we see you chugging back your pre workout shake, and your post-workout shake. But please, stop rinsing out your shakes in the water filter sink it’s just gross.
#13 The No-clothes Show
We’d prefer it if you didn’t wear skin tight, white singlets, and butt hugging booty shorts (both female and male). Please, the gym is not a fashion show for a lingerie brand. Put more clothes on and save the skimpy outfits for the bedroom.
Image credit: Dodgeball