Popular culture tells us “the most wonderful time of year” is Christmas. However, you and I both know this is very, VERY inaccurate. The most wonderful time of year is—in fact—when The Bachelor NZ graces our TV screens.
Following the road paved by Art and Jordan, allow us to introduce you to 2017’s single-and-ready-to-mingle bachelor. Introducing…drum roll please…Zac Franich! The 28-year-old surf lifesaving coach is gearing up to woo some of New Zealand’s finest ladies and we. can’t. wait!
Ahead of this season’s premiere (March 19, folks!), we’ve rounded up 20 things that will absolutely, definitely happen on The Bachelor this year.
- The season will kick off with slow-motion shots of Zac emerging from the surf in his life saving gears.
- Actually—scratch that—he’s more than likely to be topless.
- The girls will bring Zac gifts such as bliss balls and bottles of juice.
- There will be more sequins, red roses and tears than you poke a stick at.
- Common phrases will include “can I have some one-on-one time?”, “can I interrupt?” and “sooo did you get a kiss?!”.
- Depending on budgets, the team will be jetted off to some magical place such as Hamilton.
- The bachelorettes from the previous seasons will emerge from the woodworks. Hai Claudia. Hai Dani. Nice to see you on our newsfeeds again!
- We will be acquainted with Naz 2.0.
- This will lead to alliances (much like you see on Survivor).
- New Zealand’s women’s magazines will go to town with bikini-clad photoshoots.
- Zac will pash his way around the mansion.
- Dates will include romantic activities such as picnics, helicopter rides and cleaning out enclosures at Auckland Zoo. Sucks to be you, season one gals.
- Several of the ladies will leave the show at their own will. Go you strong, independent women, you!
- One of the bachelorettes is going to poop herself. Poppy’s fart, Rebecca’s vomit, Kate’s pee in the ocean…it’s all downhill from here.
- Zac will use his life saving skillz to help a girl overcome her fear of water.
- They’ll be plenty of no-so-subtle sponsors on board. Suzuki Swift, Lindauer and Glamour Boutique, we’re looking at you.
- Speaking of, Zac will present his fave gals with sparkly bling bling C/O Michael Hill Jewellers.
- And, as we near the season’s finale, Mr Michael Hill himself will give Zac some solid love advice.
- The show will have one of two endings: 1) Zac finds the love of his life. 2) Zac finds the love of his life and dumps her 24-hours later. Ouch, Jordan.
- The Urban List will return with their highly anticipated article “40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching The Bachelor This Week”. Shameless plug.
- The Bachelorettes: Where Are They Now?
- We’ve Found The Bachelor Mansion And You Can Stay There Too
- Are You #TeamNaz Or #TeamFleur?
Image credit: MediaWorks