We get it. The thought of having to drag your sorry ass to work tomorrow is all too much to bear and you’re going to have to pull a sickie. Instead of running with the overused “cough, cough” approach, perhaps it’s time to branch out and get creative with your excuses. Here are 20 to start with…
- Food poisoning. The dreaded ‘d’ word that no one can spell can come out to play.
- The ol’ time of the month. No questions asked and if your boss is a male, he’ll probs give you monthly time off in exchange for not mentioning it again.
- Mondayitis is a thing, you know? “I heard that there’s a bad case of the ‘Mondayitis going round.”
- Play dumb. “What, it’s not a public holiday?! My bad.”
- Milk your hangover. “My doctor told me that hangovers are actually a real medical condition.”
- Look after your colleagues by pulling the ‘protection card’. “You just know that this bad mood is only going to get worse and worse and worse…”
- You’re allergic to Pauline in accounting’s new perfume.
- “No no, that red thing on my neck isn’t a hickey from the office work party. Did you not hear? Bird flu is back!”
- That pimple, aka second nose just won’t die. Sorry boss!
- Claim that you work too hard. “It’s the offices’ fault. Can I sue?”
- Carrie got ditched at the alter by Big and you’re in no fit mental state to come to work.
- An unidentified, highly contagious disease has taken over you. You must be quarantined for the day.
- “Sale at the mall? Don’t be silly. My unexplained illness just decided to fall on exactly the same day, at exactly the same time.”
- “I’ve got a frizzyitis phobia. The walk from the bus to work in the pouring rain will do no good for my newly salon-styled hair.”
- You woke up in a good mood—you don’t want to go and ruin it.
- “I sleepwalked onto a plane and onto a tropical island. My bad.”
- Head lice. Scratch your head the day before in boss’ view and you’re set.
- You’ve got a severe headache that just won’t go away. Little do they know the real reason is brain freeze. Ice cream tubs on the couch, come at you!
- You’re suffering from a severely broken heart. Dan didn’t text back for an hour and you can’t cope.
- You’re just feeling too damn flawless and feel like you’ll distract everyone.
Ended up growing a pair and heading to work? Here are 11 Steps To Survive The Work Day.
Image credit: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off