Funny

22 Things People In Retail Hate About You

By Martha Brooke - 11 Aug 2016

22 Things People In Retail Hate About You

Sure, the idea of discounted clothes and looking amaze-balls while working may sound like a dream job, people who have ever worked in a clothes store will tell you a different tale. Trust me, it’s not all sparkles and silk.

In reality, half the time we want to throw our hangers in the air—here are 22 things people working in retail hate about you. 

  1. That you try and fool us with your student card: For one, it’s out of date and two, the girl in the photo has brown, short hair and you have curly, ginger hair and glasses. Jog on, sister! 
  2. You unfold everything and anything in your eye line: It’s not a race, it’s not a competition and it certainly isn’t enjoyable for us to fold them back up, surprisingly. 
  3. The fact that you make us resent sales. 
  4. You don’t give up on trying to make the transaction successful, even after the four attempts of your card declining: Should you even be here if you clearly have no funds?! 
  5. You try and peel a sale sticker off an item to then try and place it on a new-in, leather jacket. We weren’t born yesterday.
  6. You want our help, even though we are on our short, well earned break: *Whistle and put those ear-phones in.*
  7. You have clearly stained that white blouse with your heavily, caked on make-up. There should be a rule: if you leave half your face on it, you have to buy it. 
  8. We have been listening to these songs on a loop for weeks and you bombard us with stupid requests: No, we do not have it in magenta, funnily enough! 
  9. You still proceed to knock and ask if we are open, when we clearly are not: The doors are locked for a reason, you muppet. 
  10. You let your children run amuck through the rails and displays: It is not a crèche or a playground and if they touch us, they will feel our wrath. 
  11. You treat us like your personal shopper: No we cannot drop what we are doing to fetch you one in pink, white and yellow, nor can we see if we have matching pants. What did your last slave die of?! 
  12. You think you are always right: The customer is never right. Fact. 
  13. You can’t quite fathom how to reciprocate a simple hello: We are human and you do have manners, supposedly. 
  14. You insist that you followed the care instructions correctly and insist that you have never worn the pair of shoes that are now filthy: We weren’t born yesterday, sunshine. You are not getting your money back. 
  15. You think that we created the prices: We can assure you we didn’t, as we are only here to pay for our various food addictions. Get at me Sal’s Pizza! 
  16. You dump your failed, tried on garments on us in a messy heap: Have you not heard of a clothes hanger?! 
  17. You want to use the staff toilets when you have already been told no:  Go down the road to Burger King and bring us a burger while you’re at it! 
  18. You persist on making the same joke; ‘If it doesn’t scan, it must be free!’: We didn’t laugh the first time and we will not laugh for the seventeenth, so don’t quit your day job! 
  19. You leave things in the weirdest places: A Starbucks cup in a mannequin’s handbag? Thanks for that! 
  20. You assume we know the entire store’s stock off by heart: Oh, you saw a black pair of shoes a few weeks ago? Would you like to be anymore specific?
  21. You know that an item is on hold for someone else, yet you insist on asking for it: No, you can’t have it, even if she never comes back. 
  22. You want a paper bag: You will have plastic and be happy about it. 

Gym more your domain? Here are 45 Things A Foodie Thinks At The Gym

Image credit: Bridesmaids

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

Tags:

Funny

You May Also Like