Funny

28 Things Not To Get Your Dad This Father’s Day

By Millie Lester - 28 Aug 2017


Listen up, kids, we know there hasn’t been any Michael Hill jewellery ads or national ‘Best Dad in the World’ competitions, but Father’s Day is quite literally this Sunday and the clock’s ticking if you still haven’t bought him a present.

But rather than being helpful and presenting you with a myriad of thoughtful gift ideas, we’re going to head in the opposite direction and give you a list of things you definitely shouldn’t get Dad for Father’s day this year, under any circumstances.

Here are 28 things you shouldn’t get your dad this Father’s Day.

  1. A bubble gum scented car freshener in the shape of a high heel
  2. A dustpan and broom decorated with cartoon native animals
  3. A DVD of The Biggest Loser Season 3
  4. That videotape of a 1995 rugby match that used to be the only footage of your first birthday until he recorded over it
  5. A coupon for a free acupuncture session given by you
  6. Enrollment in a life drawing class
  7. Malaysia Airlines frequent flyer points
  8. A burial plot
  9. A photo album of all the major life events he missed while you were growing up
  10. A personal Snapchat account that only follows the Kardashians
  11. A blind horse
  12. A set of expensive champagne flutes
  13. A yellow 2010 Suzuki Swift with 250,000km on the clock
  14. A pair of crystal-studded Havaianas
  15. A Total Girl bucket hat
  16. Private health insurance
  17. Two NZ Herald subscriptions
  18. A sterling silver Tiffany’s infinity ring
  19. A return train ticket between Rome and Naples
  20. Boomergeddon: How Runaway Deficits Will Bankrupt the Country and Ruin Retirement for Aging Baby Boomers by James A. Bacon Jr.
  21. A signed Collingwood jersey
  22. Some maternity dungarees
  23. A blank will kit
  24. A one-legged dog with canine diabetes
  25. A year’s supply of Libra maxi pads
  26. A subscription to the Ashy Bines Bikini Body Challenge
  27. Failure To Launch on Blu-ray
  28. A paternity test

Image credit: Alexandra Gorn

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