Funny

30 New Zealanders You Wish You Knew IRL

By Olivia Atkinson - 31 Oct 2017


We don’t mean to toot our own horn but New Zealanders are pretty frickin’ rad. Not only are we hilarious and possess superior musical skills, we’re athletic, academic, creative, good looking...we could go on and on. 

Faux cockiness aside, Aotearoa is home to some truly awesome people. Despite their fame and fortune (most of) our celebs manage to stay humble, approachable and, if we’re being honest, would probably make top-notch mates. 

Because dreams are free, we’ve created a list of New Zealanders we wish we could know in real life. 

Side note: if we had a time machine, Sir Ed, Katherine Mansfield, Jean Batten, Bruce McLaren, James K. Baxter, Ralph Hotere, Jonah Lomu and many more would be dominating this list. 

  1. Taika Waititi: Lordy is this man hilarious. Plus he’s mates with Chris Hemsworth. Nuff’ said. 
  2. Flight of the Conchords: Oh Jemaine and Bret, what we would do to sing Business Time with you.
  3. Willie Apiata: He received the Victoria Cross for carrying a wounded comrade to safety whilst under fire in Afghanistan. He’s as humble as a bumble and would no doubt provide some inspiration. 
  4. Richie McCaw: Name one person who wouldn’t want to have yarns and a couple of brews with Richie. 
  5. Zoe Bell: She’s a total badass and would kick all the asses of all the boys who decide to be asses to you #girlpower. 
  6. Sam Neill: a) he’s a damn talented actor, b) he has a vineyard. 
  7. Rhys Darby: He’d have you in stitches and probs have some sage life advice. 
  8. Neil Finn: Hey now, hey now, don’t dreeeeam it’s oveeeeer. 
  9. Lorde: Every girl in New Zealand secretly wishes they were besties with this chick.
  10. Sam Hunt: If words are your thing, this guys is probably one of your heroes. His poetry is top shelf.
  11. Thingee: Thingee, we miss you! 
  12. Judy Bailey: The Mother of the Nation. Need we say more?
  13. Al Brown: So he can make you bagels for breakfast, hapuka sliders for lunch and something mind blowingly delicious for dinner.
  14. Karen Walker: Every girls needs a friend who knows their fash. May Karen Walker be that friend. 
  15. Rachel Hunter: Still a such a babe.
  16. Patrick Gower: Patty G! You could spend all arvo reenacting “this is the f*cking news!” 
  17. Anika Moa: She can sing, can crack a bloody good joke and is unapologetically herself. Massive girl crush. 
  18. Jacinda Ardern: Whether you were happy with the election results or not, a convo with this lady would be a fascinating one. 
  19. Liam Malone: What an inspirational dude. 
  20. Valerie Adams: We can always rely on this lass to bring home the gold.
  21. Lily McManus: So she’s technically an Australian but lives in A-town so we’ll claim her. She was a crack up on The Bach and seems to be no different IRL. Lily, please be our friend. 
  22. Jeremy Wells: All the lols. All. The. Lols. 
  23. Dick Frizzell: He could teach you his kitschy kiwiana ways.
  24. Graham Henry: Rugby legend and all-round good guy, Graham Henry is a quality kiwi.
  25. Sir Peter Jackson: You’ll finally have someone who understands your Lord of the Rings obsession.
  26. Sir Richard Taylor: Ditto with this guy. Weta Workshop could be your playground.
  27. Julian Dennison: This kid is going to get famous reeeeal quick. 
  28. Suzy Cato: Ask yourself this: who would you be without Suzy’s World? 
  29. Zac Franich: Because he’s the “head coach at a lifesaving club” and you suck at swimming.
  30. John Campbell: You don’t like conflict and John could ask all the hard questions you don’t want to ask in life.

Image Credit: Hunt For The Wilderpeople 

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