Funny

30 Truths About A New Zealand Summer

By Emma Pickles - 07 Dec 2017

30 Truths About A New Zealand Summer

Ah, summer. You beautiful, sweaty beast, you. My how quickly you've arrived in Auckland with your harsh rays and humidity.  From burning the shit out of yourself with a hot seat belt—seriously, they’re a real health hazard—to eating all of the chips, it’s a minefield we’re forced to deal with three months of the year.

And so, we present 30 truths you already know if you’ve ever spent a summer in good old New Zealand.

  1. It’s hot and humid.
  2. There will be arguments about the air con being too cold.
  3. There will also be arguments about the air con not being cold enough.
  4. You will face the eternal battle between windows open and death by mozzies.
  5. Chocolate is now a liquid at room temperature.
  6. There’s always the difficult choice between eating and having a toned summer bod.
  7. Not showering everyday becomes slightly more acceptable—all that swimming sure counts as cleaning?
  8. Sand will appear in unexplored crevices and you’ll wonder when you last went to the beach…
  9. You will start craving Fruju Tropical Snows. All the time!
  10. You’ll live in constant fear of jandal tan lines.
  11. Crayfish-coloured skin is unavoidable.
  12. You’ll realise that West Coast day trips aren’t the relaxing beach day you had in mind.
  13. Ants will ruin your life.
  14. Sleeping naked becomes non-negotiable.
  15. Waking up in your tent with sweat-soaked sheets at 7am is the new norm.
  16. If you don’t hear the Mr Whippy theme song, scrambled around for cash and run to get some soft serve, have you really achieved all of your summer goals?
  17. Conversations will revolve around the weather.
  18. And whether or not it was this temperamental last year.
  19. Your international (Brits, we’re looking at you!) mates will struggle with the heat.
  20. You will mock them for their weakness in the face of a Kiwi summer.
  21. They will mock you for how you say fish and chups.
  22. You’ll probably get a scar from a seat belt buckle burn. Or from the black sand.
  23. ‘If you can’t see the water you’re in underpants.’
  24. You can’t beat barbies and brews with your bros.
  25. You’ll realise that sprinklers and paddling pool were not made just for children.
  26. There’s absolutely nothing on TV. Re-runs rule!
  27. Waterfalls are still cold, even in summer.
  28. You befriend people for their pool.
  29. Shoes become optional.
  30. Grass is actually yellow.

Want More?

Image credit: Betty Wants In for The Urban List

 

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

Tags:

Funny

You May Also Like