Funny

31 Things You’ll Understand If You’re From Ponsonby

By Ava Wardecki - 04 Jul 2017

Oh Ponsonby, you sure are one of a kind. Brimming with all sorts of cool places to shop, eat and drink, you really do have a special place in our hearts. So special, in fact, that it’s definitely left a bunch impressions on us. So Ponsonbians, brace yourselves for some home truths that’ll have you spitting out your soy-milk latte all over your MacBook Air and saying “OMG that’s so true!”

1. You unapologetically sport #activewear to lunch even though the only thing you’re lifting is a burger.

2. You don’t care if it’s going to take 45 minutes, nothing is getting in the way of you getting a table at Dear Jervois. 

3. Photos with oversized gold or silver foil ‘21’ balloons are mandatory on your birthday. I mean, if you didn’t get the photo did you really have a birthday? 

4. A Miss Crabb or Ruby Liam wrap dress is the only dress you’ll ever need for a formal event.

5. You know everything there is to know about every health-craze ever. You so knew about matcha, kombucha and chia seeds waaay before they were a thing.

6. You don’t bat an eyelash at waiting in an hour-long queue to get into Little Easy on a Friday night out. You know it’s all part of the experience.

7. Speaking of lines, you’re also totally unfazed by the around-the-block lines for a free icecream at Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day too.

8. You know that if you had a dollar for every time someone joked you were from ‘Pons-snobby’, you’d have enough $$$ to actually buy a house here. 

9. You have a minor freak-out about the fact that a side of avo costs $10. You add it anyway. Because #treatyoself.

10. The pain of having to drive at snail speed down the backstreets to avoid whacking the bonnet of your Golf on those ridic speed-bumps.

11. That real struggle when your flats only carpark is taken and you have to find a park in the next street over. 

12. There’s no better way than to spend your arvo at an outside table at SPQR and watching fellow Ponsonbians strut their stuff while you sip on your San Pellegrino.

13. Getting confused as to wether you’re meeting up with your mates Burger Burger of Murder Burger?

14. One way streets. Need we say more? Ugh. 

15. You know that it is absolutely essential to Instagram a picture of that bright blue ball of a cocktail you had at Bedford Soda & Liquor. In fact, you actually only ordered it for the ‘gram.

16. Almost breaking your legs after your street turns into a literal slip-and slide come autumn. Who knew slushy leaves were so lethal?

17. You feel #blessed that you basically get front-row seats to the magical Xmas lights on Franklin Road for a whole month. 

18. You bump into an old pal from Richmond Road, Ponsonby or Freeman’s Bay Primary each time you’re in Ponsonby Central.

19. You either went to ‘Springs for or some high school with a ridiculously old-fashioned uniform.

20. You threw or went to a tonne of parties at the iconic Fairy shop back in the day.

21. You still walk past The Fairy Shop and low-key wish that they had dresses in your size.

22. Over 60% of your friends are vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, fun-free eaters.

23. You either currently, used to, or want to have your own food Instagram.

24. Your most prized possession is your collection of Karen Walker rings and necklaces.

25. The 40 km/hr speed limit on Ponsonby road is literally the worst. 

26. Stan Smiths are the only shoes you’ll ever need in your life.

27. You love that your ‘burb is only a stones through (or $8 Uber ride) away from the centre city.

28. Your Christmas and birthday wish list consists of things from Superette and Deadly Ponies.

29. You avoid the Outer Link around 3.20pm out of fear being trampled by St Mary’s and Ponsonby Intermediate school kids. 

30. You legit lose your shit because there's a bar with a hundred different types of vodka AND private karaoke rooms. 

31. Even though rent is crazy expenny and lattes cost an arm and a leg here, you’ll never consider leaving because Ponsonby is where the heart is!

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Image credit: Lauren Matilda Matthews at The Vodka Room

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