Funny

40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching The Bachelor This Week

By Natasha Van Der Laan - 16 Mar 2016

The Bachelor NZ, television New Zealand, Jordan Mauger, The Bachelor 2016, TV3 New Zealand

Last week we were introduced to Art 2.0 (a.k.a. Jordan) and his 20 lovely ladies. After two fun-filled episodes of bliss balls, villain Naz and pillow throwing, we were hooked. This week we were back for round two. Here’s what we were thinking as we watched The Bachelor NZ.

1.    IT’S TIME. IT’S TIME!

2.    Naz is a landscaper?

3.    Oh that mousse smile, Storm. We’re cringing for ya.

4.    We have a kiss, folks! 

5.    … What’s with this music?!

6.    Never mind the rose, how cute are Storm’s pyjamas?

7.    Woah, Naz. You got abs. 

8.    I wonder if Jordan has any say on who goes on the dates…

9.    Jordan, what are you wearing?! You look like a Wally. A Where’s Wally, to be exact.

10.    Puppies > Jordan.

11.    Dog washing is a legit date? Boy, have I been doing things wrong.

12.    He chose the wettest girl to have one-on-one time with. Lewl. 

13.    Testicle chat… Is this actually happening? 

14.    Claudia reveals the secret to ever-lasting love: “We’d make the perfect match. He’s really tan. I’m really tan.” 

15.    Bottles of Keri orange juice and now a paper fortune teller? Ten points for creativity, Ceri!

16.    “… I actually brought two cats home.” What on earth were Ceri and Jordan talking about?!

17.    Poor Gabs. Denied by The Bach himself.

18.    SHE DID NOT SAY “BULLSHIT”, CLAUDIA!

19.    “I ran out of alcohol” is the new “can I interrupt?”.

20.    What are you up to, Jordan?! You can’t give Alicia a rose while Rebecca is sitting there! No no no.

21.    Not the Samoan Princess!

22.    At the rose ceremony: Who ARE half these girls?!

23.    Mike: “Your journey for true love ends here.” Anna: “Not necessarily.” SASSED! You go, girl!

24.    All aboard for round two!

25.    “The texture is… thick.” Great artistic observation.

26.    “They’re bullies when Jordan isn’t around. They put other girls down.” Ummm… bit rich coming from you, Naz. Dontcha think?! 

27.    There it is! We have the first Michael Hill bling bling.

28.    … I wonder if Matilda still wears her ring.

29.    Awh Shari, you cute #teamshari.

30.    Jordan’s just gonna let Shari walk herself home in the dark?! Through Albert Park, no less!

31.    Shari: “They all noticed this beautiful necklace that I’m never taking off.” Next shot, no necklace. 

32.    It appears some of these girls missed the all-important memo, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

33.    Nice swanndri and stubby combo, Bach. You can take the boy out of the farm but you can’t take the farm out of the boy. 

34.    Somewhat ironic that the American is owning this shooting thing…

35.    Things don’t get much more romantic than comparing welts.

36.    Roses are hard to come by today.

37.    WHAT DID THE LETTER SAY?!

38.    Oh, you don’t want to be a nark?! You’ve been a nark at every other bloody cocktail party!

39.    At the rose ceremony (again): Who ARE half these girls?!

40.    “I’ll see you on the other side.” Seesh, Lindsey, you’re not dying or anything.

Stay tuned for next week’s round-up of Bachie-related thoughts.

Image credit: TV3

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