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40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching The Real Housewives Of Auckland

By Olivia Atkinson - 31 Aug 2016

40 Thoughts We All Had While Watching The Real Housewives Of Auckland

We’re three weeks into the drama-fuelled void that is The Real Housewives Of Auckland, and there’s no turning back now. Last episode explored the wacky world of invisible swords, the continued gold digger feud and of course, an endless supply of bubbly. And, in this episode, the claws well and truly came out. Here’s what we were thinking.

  1. *Mentally prepares for 45 minutes of quality television*.
  2. This deep and meaningful about cat purring is oh-so gripping.
  3. “Here’s to all the pussies”. Cheers to that!
  4. “It’s like a cat brothel.” How dare you smite the Pussy Palace, Michelle!
  5. The appropriateness of Michelle’s Gucci boots is questionable.
  6. Should have brought out the pooper scooper…
  7. Wait, is this a Pussy Galore or Possum Galore Party?
  8. Michelle trying not to crack up at her mink joke. Classic.
  9. Who had dreams of owning a full-length mink coat as a child? Anne. Anne did.
  10. Trust Julia to try a wacky beauty treatment. Vampire treatment, really?
  11. De-sexing on the kitchen table doesn’t sound particularly sanitary, Anne.
  12. Julia: “Not used to little pricks.” Errrrm.
  13. What the actual is going on? This vampire business is getting nasty.
  14. Clever confrontation tactics, ladies! Julia ain’t going anywhere with those needles in her neck.
  15. Poor Julia with her bruised neck and bruised emotions.
  16. “I have my own French PA.” You don’t actually OWN her though, Angela. That hair fondle thing is downright creepy.
  17. What’s the point of having a French PA when they don’t understand you?
  18. That poor French PA looks so confused.
  19. And that poor makeup artist is about to get dumped on.
  20. Thank goodness he’s saved by the fact that he gives ZERO fucks about Julia’s whinging.
  21. FFS, this whole ‘who upset Gilda?’ game is getting booooring.
  22. Gilda’s vomit analogy is gold. Pure gold.
  23. Life 101: Become a crazy cat lady AFTER you’ve locked down a husband.
  24. A cat shrine. There are no words.
  25. “Alan, Alan, Alan!” “Steve, Steve, Steve?”
  26. Anne on Champagne: “In victory we deserve it, in defeat we need it.” Preach it, girlfriend.
  27. Skunk, racoon, mink. What’s wrong with these people?
  28. “Who brings their PA to a party?” We’re asking the same question.
  29. Julia and Angela are rocking the same outfit (sorry, cat suit). Awks…
  30. “She’s voluptuous, she looks good in hers. I’m attractive, I look great in mine.” Someone’s cocky.
  31. That rejected cheek kiss, though. The claws are on their way out, fosho.
  32. Again, what’s with the beep?! What are you hiding from us, Bravo?
  33. “Dixie-normous.” Rank. Enough of the nether region comments please, Julia.
  34. Size 10, size 12, size whatever. It’s nacho problem, Michelle.
  35. “You’re the little runt.” Here we go…
  36. Yikes, cat fight!
  37. Did Anne just say TOO MUCH Champagne?
  38. Angela’s PA is bidding for a styling session with her own boss. Hmm…
  39. Fact: There’s no drama that a dance floor can’t fix.
  40. Praise the heavens that’s over.

Stay tuned for next week's round-up of Housewives-related thoughts. In the meantime, here are 40 thoughts we all had while watching episode two.

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