Funny

44 Downright Epic Things To Do With $44 Million

By Olivia Atkinson - 09 Nov 2016

44 Downright Epic Things To Do With $44 Million

So things have got a bit cray cray in Lottoland and $44 million HAS to be won today. No doubt you’ve purchased your ticket (no? hop to!) so now you have two options: a) sit there and hope for the best or b) let your imagination run wild and free with all the amazing stuff you could do with said winnings.

To help you do the latter, here are 44 downright epic things you could do if you won Lotto this week. Cross those fingers!

  1. Don’t tell anyone (expect maybe your S.O and parents). You’ll be surprised how many people will start greasing up to you and your newfound monies.
  2. Make your go-to breakfast gold-covered doughnuts.
  3. Buy $44 million worth of Lotto tickets.
  4. Eat your way around the globe…in your private jet. 
  5. Start saying yes to a side of avocado.
  6. And halloumi.
  7. Or have avocado trees planted in your backyard. Avocado is life.
  8. Buy an investment house (or two, or three!) in Auckland. Because let’s be honest, buying one without those Lotto winnings just ain’t gonna happen.
  9. Upgrade your current digs. Build a Hogwarts replica to live in. Complete with secret passages and talking paintings.
  10. If Hogwarts isn’t your jam, at least promise us you’ll have a bookshelf hiding a secret room.
  11. And a trap door in your kitchen that leads to an underground wine cellar (and all your expensive vino).
  12. Oh, and buy a vineyard. Free wine for life, yo.
  13. Or get a walk-in beer fridge.
  14. Adopt all the dogs and become a stay-at-home dog mama.
  15. Or buy a French bulldog. Oh-so cute but oh-so pricey.
  16. Say ‘laters losers’ to your current soul-sucking job and actually go do that thing you’ve been dreaming about for years.  
  17. Have a massive treehouse in your backyard with a slide, thousands of fairy lights and state-of-the-art telescope. Helloooo, stars.
  18. Build a three-story rock climbing wall in your fancy pants house.
  19. Go to space. For the lols. And the views.
  20. Do the whole private island thing. It’s compulsory.
  21. Buy your dad his dream car. The look on his face will be 100 per cent worth it.
  22. Live in a hotel for a week. YOLO. 
  23. Get a serious charity plan in place. Don’t be a greedy bugger, you didn’t earn that $44 mill so give some of it to people who need it more than you do.
  24. Go out for a super swanky dinner with all your homies. Your shout.
  25. Do absolutely nothing. Sit on your butt all day, watch Netflix and eat pizza. Just because you can now.
  26. Buy an apartment in New York. If that isn’t a dream of yours then you’re lying.
  27. Set up trust funds for your grandkids (and great grandkids if you’re feeling extra generous). Create a list of tasks they have to do in order to get it—pretty much The Ultimate Gift but IRL.
  28. Treat your parents to a holiday home. Lord knows how much hard-earned dosh they’ve spent on you. Time to turn the tables.
  29. Create your own Whittaker’s flavour.
  30. And Giapo flavour.
  31. Have a live-in Burger Burger chef. Burgs and potato skins aaalll day.
  32. Just chuck it in a high interest savings account and truck on with life as usual. Boring but safe (pssst: don’t do it).
  33. Pull a Bilbo Baggins. Randomly run out your front door and go on an adventure.
  34. Obvious but pay off that crippling student loan.
  35. Travel the world for a couple of years. Settle down wherever you liked the most.
  36. Deck your house out with a full-blown cinema. Popcorn and choc tops included.
  37. Hire a personal shopper because it’s about bloody time you upped your fash game.
  38. Start buying quality toilet paper. The 1 ply days are behind you.
  39. Buy a boat. Just ‘cos. Your summers are about to get eeepic.
  40. Get a VIP, meet and greet pass to Biebs.
  41. Pay Biebs to be your BF for a day.
  42. Buy some badass art. We’re thinking Picasso could be a good start.
  43. Purchase an endless supply of frozé (frozen rosé, FYI).
  44. Withdraw a bunch of cash, stand in the middle of the footpath and Make. It. Rain.

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Image credit: Wolf of Wall Street

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