TV & Movies

53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4

By Urban List Writers - 18 Jun 2018

53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4

The show that has the nation hot and bothered and grandparents everywhere disgusted and disappointed in our generation is back for another round of spit swapping. Almost as embarrassing as David Seymour's attempt at twerking, brace yourselves for another week of well-choreographed drama. Let us take a moment of silence to acknowledge the death of quality local television (and we're embracing every damn minute), as we yet again pay witness to the sixteen wanna-be influencers compete for their fifteen minutes of fame.

If you have any brain cells left from banging your head against a wall after last week's mess, prepare for an absolute sh*t show. Here were our thoughts while watching this week's episode of Heartbreak Island. 

53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4

  1. Why is Harry nibbling at Georgia like she’s a wicked wing? 
  2. Is the nation currently paying witness to Harry discovering female anatomy? What a time to be alive.
  3. The only heartbreaking thing about Harry is that he looks NOTHING like his pictures. 
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  4. I didn’t know Mr Burns was making a surprise cameo!
  5. Ruby’s just been played harder than any Beyonce song. Ever.
  6. I think I’ve nearly pulled a muscle from all the eye rolling watching this.
  7. The only swinging #stayna are doing is on that hammock.
  8. Is Josh FINALLY getting the message?
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  9. Don’t worry Tiffany, If there were any brain cells to be lost, they’re long gone by now.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  10. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO JUST REALISED THEY’RE COMPETING ON A FOOT. If I didn’t feel sick enough already.
  11. TFW your girl sticks to the script. Here’s hoping we see Kristian cry in this next challenge.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  12. As two newbies fresh off the train enter the arena, the surrounding airheads hold their breath as they assess the fresh meat. 
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  13. The bananas in pyjamas called. They want their car back.
  14. “Stand and eat"...hmmm I wonder what they’ll be doing????
  15. Monkey Balls. Looks like everyone's getting a taste of Harry tonight.
  16. Kristian is absolutely sacking it...
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  17. At least you’ll finally get to first base Josh. First kiss goals.
  18. We don’t say this often… but suddenly we’re not so hungry.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  19. Tiffany is trying her best. 
  20. This food is about as tasteful as this damn show.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  21. Eating this bug looks more painful than giving birth.
  22. Dedication is swallowing when you want to spit.
  23. Couldn’t this show get Rexona to sponsor them? Damn. 
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  24. Nothing like having a chunder on her to break the ice eh Julius?
  25. Kristian's getting a taste of his own medicine...literally.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  26. Gennedy ain't scared of no itty bitty bug.
  27. That weetbix is going down as well as a tweet from Trump.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  28. Kristian’s looking at Ruby like she’s the gherkin in his cheeseburger. 
  29. And now we go to the local watering hole because mixing idiots with alcohol is never a bad idea.
  30. How considerate, they picked a game to match Harry’s IQ.
  31. Tavita’s been snapped!
  32. On a side note: does anyone else get slight Blake Lively vibes from Kelsey? 
  33. Joshua’s giving Gennedy more attention than when they were actually a couple.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  34. And in a shocking twist, Julius is the latest to fall to the Harry Epidemic. 
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  35. Kristian’s looking absolutely devastated about kissing another girl. 
  36. He’s used to coming first. If you know what I mean. 
  37. Hell hath no fury like a Ruby scorned.
  38. “Maybe I like you, maybe I care” and maybe he’s a complete douchelord. It’s a world of possibilities.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  39. When she says it’s 'fine' that’s when you know you're royally f*cked.
  40. Ruby, sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot.
  41. BEG KRISTIAN, BEG.
  42. This new couple is dryer than that weetbix.
  43. Kristian is about as genuine as the Nike shoes you find on market streets.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  44. It seems everyone but Kristian knows he’s full of shit.
  45. No need to kiss and tell Tavita, that’s what the producers are for.
  46. Do we really need to go through a speech on how the game works every. Damn. Episode?
  47. ‘Super loyal?’ Are we watching the same show?
  48. Come on Ruby, don’t let us down.
  49. SEE YOU NEVER KRISTIAN BUH BYE. Looks like this snake is being released back into the wild. 
  50. Hello, police? Yes, I’d like to report a backstabbing. Tactical Tiffany is outta here!
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  51. Josh didn’t just throw Tiffany under the bus. He rolled her with a tank.
    53 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 4
  52. Looking at Tiffany’s face, this could easily become a double homicide. 
  53. And just like that Ruby drops 80kg. F*ckboy be gone! 

Image Credit: Heartbreak Island

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