Funny

60 Thoughts And Feelings We All Have On New Years Eve

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 31 Dec 2017


2017, the end is NYE.

New Years Eve, the countdown to disappointment. Second worst only to Valentine’s Day and it’s empty set-menu promises.

With expectations set to an all-time high, what starts off with so much potential quickly deteriorates into a scene from the Walking Dead—as you join the throng of glassy-eyed zombies lumbering around the dance floor.

But don’t worry because next year will be better, right?

Probably not.

But at least you’re not alone! Here are 60 things everyone will be thinking and feeling at this year peters out in unspectacular fashion.

  1. Tonight is going to be #thebestnightoftheyear. I’m so glad I got tickets before it sold out!
  2. I’mma gonna kiss someone tonight!
  3. This outfit was so worth every single hundreds of dollars
  4. Oh, Uber is charging 10x its normal rate, that’s cool.
  5. Woah ok, this line is a little long to get in, but that’s cool.
  6. My pre-drinks have worn off. My feet hurt.
  7. Let’s get a seat and drink!
  8. Oh shit. I just spent $200 dollars on a drink. That’s cool.
  9. Where did all my friends go?
  10. Why doesn’t my phone have reception?
  11. Shiiiit, I just spent another $300 on some wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli. Tra-la-la-la-la.
  12. Must write #blessed post for Instagram and tell people how much I’ve grown, like, emotionally, during the year.
  13. What time is it?
  14. My feet hurt.
  15. I need to get drunker.
  16. Who is going to kiiiss me??
  17. I just tripped into a stranger. I should make out with him so he doesn’t think I’m too drunk to stand.
  18. I’m too drunk to stand.
  19. Oh god, how am I going to get home?
  20. I don’t know if I can stay awake until midnight.
  21. I fucking hate New Years, why am I out?
  22. Everyone here is feral.
  23. OMFG—this is ma song!
  24. SOMEONE JUST WIPED THEIR SWEATY ARM ON ME!
  25. If I leave now it’ll cost me $1200 to get home.
  26. How do I public transport?
  27. Why am I wearing heels? Whyyyyyyy?
  28. Must write #bringon2018 Facebook post to let everyone know about all the bad things that have happened to me this year. And how I’m a SURVIVOR.
  29. The line to the girl’s toilet hasn’t moved for an hour.
  30. When it’s my turn to pee, I’m going to exact my revenge by taking twenty minutes.
  31. I wonder what my cats are doing right now?
  32. I’m going to see what my ex is doing on Instagram.
  33. HehasanewgirlfriendIwanttomurderthemboth.
  34. I’m going to text all my exes and wish them a Happy New Year.
  35. In 45 days I’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day too.
  36. I’m going to drink less next …. Hahahaha. Lol.
  37. I’m going to save more and be better with my mo–pfffttt bahaha.
  38. What time is it?
  39. Where’s Kelly?
  40. None of my exes have messaged back. I want to eat McDonalds and DIE.
  41. I’m a really ordinary person who’s always going to live an ordinary life.
  42. What time is it?
  43. Everyone here is younger than me.
  44. One day I too shall die.
  45. What time is it?
  46. OMG they’re playing Peter motha flippin’ Aaandre!
  47. I wish I studied harder in school, that’s where it all went wrong.
  48. I’m going to make better decis–‘Let’s do a shot!!’
  49. I want to go home and stalk people online while I cry.
  50. I’m going to start lining up now for a drink in case I finish this one.
  51. I’m going to start lining up now for the toilet in case I have to go.
  52. I think I could pee in a urinal. I can do anything a man can do.
  53. Let’s line up in the taxi queue now and do the countdown there.
  54. I wish someone would touch me.
  55. Ew, not you.
  56. Maybe you …
  57. I’ll go home with you if you pay for the Uber.
  58. Is it acceptable to take my shoes off?
  59. Too late.
  60. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Now that's over, here are 20 things to do when you're hungover AF.

Image credit: The Great Gatsby

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