Funny

7 Things You Need To Plan A Blokes Holiday

By Ben Phillips. - 21 Mar 2017

boys holiday

Medical professionals recommend three essential practices for optimal health in human males:

  1. Yearly prostate checks
  2. Regular exercise
  3. Boys trip

The third item in the list reportedly releases more endorphins than running the City to Surf on your hands. It’s easy to explain why. When else, but in the company of life-long friends, do you laugh so hard the jaw aches and new dimples the size of peanuts form in the corners of the mouth? This kind of belly-rumbling laughter can be set-off solely by veterans who not only know how to push your buttons, they relish in it.

The problem lies in the dosage. Life, with its jobs and bills, and endless responsibilities, means you only see these laugh-doctors once a fortnight or month at best. The solution? Organise a regular blokes holiday and over-dose on happiness and hilarity.

Here is the essential guide to getting it right.

#1. The Group Chat

The group chat is usually reserved for brutal insults in the form of zooming in on a friend’s insecurity, be that their Owen Wilson nose, or English teeth or aggressively receding hairline, again and again until the image is but a blur of hideous pixels. The humble group chat has the power to be so much more than a platform for slander. Create a new group with the purpose of organising a blokes holiday. Aptly call it ‘Byron Bonanza or ‘Trolleyed in Thailand’ and watch the ideas flow in like a Stone & Wood at the Beach House.

#2. Fines

Not all of the lads are savvy savers. Introduce a ‘fine’ system at the beginning of the year for offences including: telling rubbish stories, missing the mark with an insult or being absent on a boy’s night. By the time it comes to pay for flights and accommodation there will be enough in the kitty to get the holiday moving.

#3. The Bank

Who holds the cash in their account? It pains me to say, but we don’t exactly trust all of our mates to do the right thing. There are always the blokes who make profit by disappearing when it’s their shout, or coincidentally never have cash in their wallets to split a dinner bill. It’s fair to say they should not be in charge of the holiday funds. The job should go to someone with a proven track record of generosity and fairness. I’m sure you already have someone in mind.

#4. Accommodation

Booking multiple rooms in a hotel usually works out to be far more expensive than a mega-pad by the beach. Rent a house on AirBnB. Many of the best memories of trips away involve backyard bbqs and drinking games around a fire.

#5. House Rules

Setting house rules is not the equivalent of being the fun police. They are necessary, especially with a house packed with testosterone charged lunatics, who, after a few beers get carried away with one-upmanship. “I did a backflip from the tree into the pool.” “Yeah well I did one off the roof.” Set the rules early and establish fines for any repeat offenders.

#6. Activities

Multiple activities are a must on a bloke’s holiday. This doesn’t necessarily mean bungee jumping or skydiving. It could be as simple as bringing along a bat and stumps or setting up a slack-line in the backyard.

#7. Final Leg

Mondays’ are hard enough, let alone after a lads’ trip. Plan ahead and book the Monday off work. There is nothing worse than landing at the airport, or driving into town late on a Sunday night, and knowing you need to be up the next day for work.

Too cool for a lads trip? You might want to check this out.

Image credit: HBO

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Holidays

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