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Horoscopes | Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Gen Phelan - 19 Feb 2018

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Whether you’ve spent the week basking under the stars with your SO, or seeing them from a couple (hundred) bevs on a ha-uge night out with the gang, we’re translating what they’ve got in store for you this time ‘round. A reality check? A new beginning? A romance revival? Read and weep.

Aries

Who knew you had this much self-control? A+, Aries.  If we could reach out of the screen and give you a firm pat on the back, we would. It’s proving to be a loooong month, but victory is near (and so is that bubbly).

Taurus

You’re still thinking about that fleeting moment on the train last week. Or was it in the waiting room? Ah, nope, the pet food aisle of the supermarket. You met a stranger’s gaze and felt a buzz. How about this week, you strike up a convo? Be bold, Taurus.

Gemini

Patience is a virtue, Gems, and you kind of suck at it. Remember how Miley Cyrus once bestowed that precious piece of wisdom upon us? It’s about the climb. Rise and grind, because all good things come to those who wait it out a little while.

Cancer

Like any true Crab, your home is your shell and your safe haven. Take some time out to Netflix binge, wardrobe clean (ha, good luck), and read that book collecting dust on your bedside. Downtime is in order, Cancerians. Don’t fight it.

Leo

Oh, Leo. You’re experiencing some bouts of serious change. It’s the word of the week. You’re usually opposed to the notion of upheaval, but hey, ever wondered why ‘change is good’ has stood the stood the test of time? Go with the flow and you may just be pleasantly surprised.

Virgo

The could-have-been’s are getting you down this week. Virgo, you gotta stop retracing every misstep and mistake. You’re rattling off the ‘back in my day’ sob stories in mahoossive excess. Get your head out of the past and into the right here, right now.

Libra

Hey, Librans, we’ve got a new word for your vocabulary: NO. Try and say it aloud a few times over until it stops sounding so weird. Is that better? You’re sacrificing your own desires to satisfy everyone else’s. Next time someone asks you if you’d like coriander on that, practise that new verb.

Scorpio

Scorpios, they’re just not that into you. You’ve been mulling for weeks over the ‘see you around’ text. Also, why were they only responding on a four-hourly basis? Here’s the translation: they aren’t keen. You can do waaaay better, anyway.

Sagittarius

Get the squad back together this week, Sags. Be the one that schedules an impromptu dumplings date, or a karaoke bar sesh in the city. The catch-up is tragically overdue, and you've always had a knack for luring out the reclusive types.

Capricorn

Capricorn, you’re truly excelling in the art of defeatism. *Virtual slap*. Nobody likes a resting b*tch face, so put your woes aside for the next few days and reclaim your role as the life of the part-aaay. Office banter is your real specialty, after all.

Aquarius

Make a choice. We’re not talking an eenie, meenie miney mo sitch here either, Aquarius. Trust your instincts and don’t end up being one of those Hot Seat Millionaire finalists that say they swore they knew the answer was A but chose C instead. Your gut won’t let you down.

Pisces

Pisces, your friends/family/colleagues/dog are sick of hearing the pros and cons lists you’ve devised. Whatever or whoever is holding you back will rob you of reaching your full potential. Don’t let this be a Guy Sebastian/Shannon Noll Aus Idol 2003 theft. You gotta lift.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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