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Live Blog: Game Of Thrones Ep4, S6

By Ellen Seah - 16 May 2016

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Here we are again, settling in for a night of what will hopefully contain some sliver of drama following last week’s child-friendly snooze fest. First up, Jon Snow attempts to lighten the mood with a weather-related joke. Crickets are heard around the world.

SANSA HAS ARRIVED AT THE WALL IN RECORD TIME. That was awfully quick, Brienne of Tarth must have some very speedy horses, because I’m pretty sure the journey to the wall was a lot slower last time around. Sansa and Jon Snow are very buddy-buddy judging by the cheerful, heart-warming soundtrack that I’m pretty sure has never been played in the history of GoT.

Sansa says “ass” weirdly. It’s ruining the heartfelt moment.  Sansa tries drinking poor-quality beer and fails like a teenager attempting tequila shots. It’s still pretty adorable. What is this monstrosity and what have you done with GoT.

Said beer-drinker (but not really) reckons she can retake Winterfell on her lonesome. Unless her fiery hair magically turns to actual fire (weirder stuff has happened), I don’t see it working.

The most annoying child created in the history of television has once again graced our screens, after I was convinced we got rid of him. Disappointing. Only the sight of Robin Arryn has the power to make every GoT fan’s face contort in simultaneous disgust. Littlefinger and this oversized lord are having a power-based face off. Arryn gives no craps because he has a baby falcon and nothing else matters at this moment.

Meanwhile in Meereen, we’re back to the moral discussion of slaves vs masters. Tyrion is making some very clever, if morally grey, choices. He’s doing well balancing the interests of what appears to be every single individual in Meereen. He’s lucky he’s got Grey Worm and Missandei as backup 'cause otherwise he would probably be missing a head by now. Grey Worm attempts to warn T, so something is probably going to go down in the next episode (and you can refer to this prediction when it does).

Daenerys’ two henchmen seem to have a reasonable rescue plan, which means said plan is definitely going to implode. Daario pummels a dead man’s body with a rock, so overall it’s a pretty PG-episode. However, the Mother of Dragons has an epic plan, most likely involving fire.

Meanwhile, the High Sparrow lets Margery out. He’s definitely got something evil planned in that psychotic brain of his. The extraordinarily slow-moving close up on the High Sparrow’s face is making everyone uncomfortable. And, Loras has gone off the deep end. One more attractive actor lost to Game of Thrones.

Tommen is showing promising signs of having an active brain. Unsure if the Lannisters are doing a very good job of playing the Small Council or are actually just wanting to slaughter the crazy bird nut. They decide to bring in an army, which they’ve had at their disposal for approximately the entire season.

On the other side of the gameboard, Reek I MEAN THEON DON’T HURT ME successfully makes it home. In the understatement of the year: his sister is less than welcoming.

Ramsey appears to have perhaps met his match with Osha, but then he SPOILER ALERT stabs her in the neck and CAN HE NOT. Ugh. In the meantime, Brienne is very unimpressed by the Wildlings' table manners. This is more painfully awkward than the time your Uncle brought his new, 20 year-old wife to Christmas dinner.

Mother of Dragons is back. It would be funny if she’s suddenly wasn’t fire-resistant, but of course she is, and now runs all the Dothraki which is pretty sick by all accounts. As per usual, I have many questions. One of which is why Daenerys’ hair never burns.

Need more GoT recapping? Check out our live blog of episode three. 

Image credit: Game of Thrones

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