Hi kids, today we’ll be teaching you how to nail a staple brunch dish (that is apparently destroying your bank account), so you can enjoy a home-owning lifestyle from the comfort of your very own rented share-house.
The dish we’re talking about is, of course, the dastardly *smashed avo*. Which has been stealing fully furnished four-bedroom townhouses from within our grasp since it first started hypnotising innocent Gen-Ys on the brunch scene several years ago.
But to completely deter you from the lure of buying smashed avo from a licensed cafe, we’ve pimped this dish right up so you’ll never want to eat it outside of your own kitchen ever again.
Behold, the avocado and feta smash w/ poached eggs & maple-glazed bacon on sourdough toast w/ panko fried haloumi. *drops mic*.
- 1 ripened avocado, stoned & halved
- 1 tbsp of dill, finely chopped
- 1 tbsp of mint leaves, chopped
- 1 tbsp of lime or lemon juice
- 100g of feta cheese, crumbled
- 2 slices of sourdough bread
- 3 free-range eggs
- Half a red onion, finely sliced
- 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
- Extra dill or mint for serving
- Salt & pepper
- 100g haloumi (but secretly 200g)
- 1tsp dijon mustard
- 1/2 cup of maple syrup
- 4 rashers of bacon
- 50g panko breadcrumbs
- 3/4 tsp of dried oregano
- 20g plain flour
- 300ml sunflower, vegetable or olive oil
Here's How To Kick It Off
Once you’ve popped to the shops and bought everything you need for this dish
and realised you’ve spent more than you would have just buying it a cafe, it’s time to start maple-glazing the bacon. Pre-heat the oven to 200C and line a baking tray with foil. Place a baking rack over the top and arrange the bacon slices on it.
Whisk the maple syrup and mustard in a small bowl and generously spoon over the bacon strips. Pop that bad boy in the oven and cook for 12-15 minutes and then turn the bacon over and recoat it with the syrup mixture. Allow that to cook for another 5-10 or until it’s at your desired level of crispiness.
While the bacon is cooking, start roughly chopping the avo and throw it in a bowl with the chopped dill, salt, pepper, mint, lemon/lime juice and finely cut red onion. Smash dat avo roughly with a fork and then toss through most of the crumbled feta.
Set aside the smashed av for a mo and focus your attention on your Panko fried haloumi. Cut that bad boy into wedges of about 1cm thick and then toss them in some flour until well coated. Tip the panko breadcrumbs onto a plate and mix it up with the dried oregano and a generous grind of black pepper. Next, coat your haloumi pieces in the breadcrumb mixture. (Probably check on the bacon now, it prolly needs a flip). Put the haloumi aside for a mo as well.
Fair warning—it gets a bit heckers here. Pour the oil (for the haloumi) into a small saucepan (it should be about an inch deep) and heat on medium. Next, pop your fresh slices of sourdough in the toaster.
It’s eggie time! We’re going to use the Jamie Oliver foolproof poaching method and boil some water. Once the water has boiled, remove it from the heat and wait for the bubbles to subside, then return it to a simmer. Crack the egg into a small bowl and lower it into the water, repeat for the second egg. Cook them for five minnies (or longer if you like a firmer egg).
Finish It Off
While the eggs are poaching, fry the haloumi slices three at a time for about 30 seconds—1 minute on each side or until golden brown. Once cooked, place them on some paper towel over a plate to absorb some of the oil.
Butter the sourdough toast and pile on the smashed avo, scattering the remaining feta and extra dill or mint on top. Pop the poached eggs on top of the smashed avo and serve the panko-fried haloumi and maple-glazed bacon (which should be ready by now) alongside the dish.
Instagram it with the hashtag #smashedhousedeposit and enjoy both the meal and your growing prospects of one day becoming a homeowner.
Image Credit: Gabby Stjernqvist for The Urban List