Cue the ultimate trash binge-fest ever in all it’s party-filled, alcohol-induced and inevitable prison-time glory. If Bachie In Paradise isn’t quite cuttin’ it for you then this list should well and truly fill that drama-shaped void which is, let’s be honest, endless.
And FYI, we’re not judging. Reality TV is arguably the best kind of TV and frankly we can’t get enough of it. You can tell the group chat that you’re staying in to watch the latest ep of Riverdale but we know you’re really sinking your teeth into a good reality show with some random love scandal, on some random island with some random people. Which sounds like perfection to us.
Here are the best reality TV shows for guaranteed peak drama!
American Bachelor | 7/10 Drama
We’re a bit sad that the New Zealand Bachelor isn’t delivering the dramatic goods we’d hoped for so it’s probably a good idea that you turn your attention to the US version. We won’t make you sit through the entire Arie season (he’s probably the most boring dude to ever go on the show) but we will make you watch the last five episodes of said season. Trust us, it’ll gear you up for an epic Bachelorette which they happen to be filming right now. Side note: if in doubt, watch Jojo’s season. It was THE BEST.
Love Island UK | 9/10 Drama
Love Island is a long slog but let us tell you that it’s freaking worth it okay. We suggest you start at season two and make your way to season three. You’ll thank us later and also #kemandchrisforlyfe. That little reference will make all of the sense after you binge season three.
Jersey Shore Reunion | 7/10 Drama
We’d give anything for a little more of The Situation in our lives, a solid dose of Ronnie and Sammi (the OG ‘stahhhhhhp’) arguing over pretty much nothing and Snooki, bless her sweet orange soul, chuggin’ down pickle juice like there’s no tomorrow. Cue peak levels of excitement with this one. Loveable, full of ridiculous drama (even by reality TV standards) and a real classic IMO.
The Charlotte Crosby Show | 6/10 Drama
The queen herself and master of all things reality TV is feeding your drama-starved bodies with even MORE chaos and laughs. Her latest venture gives us a BTS look into her hectic life which means meeting her ‘rents, pups and even getting a lil’ insight into some (actually, a lot) of Bear-related drama. Sign us up.
Vanderpump Rules | 7/10 Drama
The beauty of this one is that at least all of the couples have cheated on each other, so you know a wholeeee heap of fire will be flaring up on each episode (it’s really just an eternal blaze and we’re damn glad no one’s putting it out). The show follows Lisa Vanderpump’s (you know her from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills #woohoo) employees at her restaurant SUR, as they try and work towards building a better future for themselves.
Geordie Shore | 9/10 Drama
These guys need no introduction so let’s be real, start at the beginning for all the tragic makeup choices and cycle through to now when it’s more about the questionable life choices. Honestly, these kids kill us.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills | 8/10 Drama
For your fair share of meltdowns, smackdowns, hoedowns and just a big jumble of meme opportunities, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills brings on all the savage drama and tears you could ever want. This gem is pumped with all the botoxed sassy factions and shoutout to Erika Jayne for providing us with all the saucy theatrics, keeping us forever entertained. Keep doing you boo.
Siesta Key | 9/10 Drama
If you thought The Hills was peak drahmz, then oh honey, you were so wrong. Siesta Key is set in Florida so basically everyone is cashed up big time but is also kind of a huge bogan. The first episode sees one girl get her nose broken by a mystery character that disappears after a few eps and there is much cheating on everyone, with every other cast member. That about sums it up. It’s TERRIBLE. So, it’s FABULOUS.
The Hills & Laguna Beach | 7/10 Drama
And when the above makes you nostalgic AF for LC, Kristin and the entire OC gang, re watch the OG reality shows, Laguna Beach and The Hills. We’ll never get over Stephen’s betrayal. We’ll never forget the days before LC was our hair icon and dear God we will NEVER get over how terrifying Spencer Pratt is. Ever.
Ex On The Beach: Body SOS | 8/10 Drama
Our gal Vicky is making a comeback to MTV with her newest show, Ex On The Beach: Body SOS. Essentially, they take 16 people and each week they’ll show two of them on a 12 week body “journey” which culminates in them making an Ex on the Beach-style entrance from the ocean and Vicky (love her) saying ‘pet’, like a lot. We know.
Dance Moms | 8/10 Drama
It’s seven seasons of immaculate reality trash and that’s exactly why you’ll love it. This show starts as your average dance school where a group of talented kidlets compete every week in dance comps and their crazy mums seemingly lose their shiz over the smallest things. Like their child not getting enough attention last week. Glorious. By season seven, the main dance teacher has created two teams to rival against each other, kicked a tonne of students off the elite team, been sued by some of her other students and sent to prison for bankruptcy fraud.
Coming soon to New Zealand:
After a brief hiatus, New Zealand's reality TV scene is set to get interesting again.
Dancing With The Stars
What is more fun than watch celebs you know (and some you don't) get all hot and sticky on the dance floor? These brave souls will be hitting our screens on April 29, and we're predicting tears, a few stumbles and a whole lotta voting. This year includes the likes of Shorty St actress Shavaughn Ruakere, politician David Seymour, ex Bachelor Zac Franich, broadcasters Robert Rakete and Samantha Hayes to name a few.
Kicking off on April 19, we'll be obsessively watching the cringe-worthy show that is First Dates. Never short of drama, two strangers come together for a date. Awkward enough without cameras, it's taken next level when they're there. Let's not forget those bathroom conversations (recorded) where we find out what people truly think. We'll be there.
Putting their...errr...survival skills to the test, 18 sods compete to win Survivor NZ 2018. Based in Thailand, expect all the creepy crawlies, drama and blood sweat and tears of the previous show. Kicking off on April 22nd, it's a show you won't want to miss.
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Image credit: Love Island UK