Gifts

What Not To Get Your Boyfriend For Christmas

By Nathan Santamaria - 14 Dec 2016

Alrighty girls and boys its time for a dose of honesty—your boyfriend probably isn’t going to tell you any of this, but he will sure be thinking it. Christmas can be an awkward time for new couples and the question of what to get your significant other can be a tricky one. Men are simple and it doesn’t take much to keep us happy, but there are a few things you should avoid.

If you’ve been together for 5 years then you probably know what he likes so disregard this, but if you’re still new to the relationship game then we’re here to save you some trouble.

Here is what not to get your boyfriend(s) for Christmas:

Jewellery

Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend but they most definitely are not a guy’s. 86% of men said they would not wear jewellery that their girlfriend got them for Christmas. Ok, that statistic was made up but its probably pretty close. They’re going to pretend to love it—they’ll even wear it once or twice to make you happy—but secretly, they’re not a fan.

Homemade Gifts

As thoughtful and cute as your homemade masterpiece is, odds are he’s not going to appreciate it as much as you’d hope (This includes those handwritten coupons good for ‘one free back massage’). Homemade gifts can be hit or miss, but more often than not they’re a miss… He will probably get one or two uses out of it then it will just take up space somewhere in his wardrobe. Just play it safe and get him a JB Hi-Fi gift card.

Clothes

Specifically clothes that you think will look good on him. We value your opinion and if we’re in the market for a new shirt, we’ll definitely run it by you. But in the end we like to pick our own clothes (and make sure they fit). If you think you know our style and find something we’ll absolutely love, then by all means buy it! But maybe keep the receipt just in case.

Matching Clothes

I know we already said clothes but this one needed its own entry. Most dapper guys would love to find some new clothes under the tree, but matching outfits? Please no. A little bit of matching is fine, like when his tie subtly matches your dress or those gimmicky matching Christmas jumpers that are funny once a year. But that’s probably where we draw the line.

Home Goods & Décor

Men don’t decorate, it's just that simple. We love our man cave but we don’t need to ‘pretty’ it up with a trendy piece of art or a cool plant. The same goes for appliances. We have our toaster and microwave and that’s pretty much all we need. As handy and useful as that new slow cooker is, steer clear of the kitchen.

Socks & Underwear

Unless it’s some cool funky socks or undies with Batman on them, don’t bother. Don’t get me wrong; he probably needs new socks and underwear, but he’s a big boy now and should be able to buy them for himself. If you’re buying them for him then it might feel like you’re his mum.

Sporting Goods

Along the same lines as socks & undies, guys can buy sporting goods for themselves. We’re super picky when it comes to this stuff too, so unless we’ve been harping on about how we need a new pair of boots or some new pads, just let us pick them ourselves.

Cologne/Aftershave

Unless he has none and has specifically asked for some, stay away. Men like to smell how they like to smell. Whatever you think is a nice, pretty smell, he probably doesn’t. Let him buy his own smelly stuff.

Tickets

Make sure it's something he actually wants to go to (and not just that he says he wants to because he loves you). He probably won’t enjoy going to the ballet or opera. Also, as a rule of thumb, never plan things further in advance than the length of the relationship. If you’ve only been together 4 months, don’t buy tickets for next September… You don’t want to spook him.

A Dog

Similar to the tickets, unless you have been together for ages and have talked about getting a pet, just don’t. Odds are, that dog will be a puppy of divorce. (Also dogs rule, cats drool).

Something You Will Use As Well/More

We are all guilty of this one. You’re doing your Christmas shopping (for anyone really, not just your boyfriend), and you see something really cool and think, “Ooo, they’ll really like this!” But what you’re really thinking is “Ooo, I’ll buy this and then just borrow it all the time…” Come on guys, we’re better than that.

Photo Frame

He’ll pretend to like that cute framed picture that you took of you two on your trip to the zoo. He’ll put it on his bookshelf or cabinet or whatever. But he really doesn’t care…like at all. Honestly, he will probably forget its there after a week.

Video Games

Now this one is for you. He may say he wants a video game, he may even tell you which one to get. And trust me, he will enjoy it and play it and love you so much for getting it for him! But what you have done is just given him something to spend all of his time and attention on, instead of you… Purchase at your own peril.

Novelty Gifts

You know the ones, stuff like a singing fish wall hanging, an electric toothbrush that plays the Star Wars theme or a toilet golf putting set. He’s probably going to use it once and then never touch it ever again. Let’s be realistic here. Try and get him something he’s actually going to use.

Shower Gel Packs/Toiletries

This is the big one. Our mothers, aunties and grandmothers have been getting us the Lynx shower gel and body spray pack every year since we were 13. What’s the deal? Do we smell bad (ok we probably did a little when we were like 16), or do you actually think we like these things? Please, please, do not get us any form of shower gels or deodorants.

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Image credit: Ben White

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