19 Things Your Mum Really Thinks Of Your Mother’s Day Gifts

By Sarah Joanna Pope
6th May 2016

Let's face it. Life is expensive and mums are very understanding—so we’re all guilty of a bit of stinginess and re-gifting.

But to deter you from any more shonky gift choices this Mother’s Day, we’re here to let you know 19 things your mother really thinks of your crappy gifts.

I may not be a mother, but I do know how to disappoint them. Here goes…

  1. Servo flowers. Do you actually know what an episiotomy is, son?
  2. Foot spa. Great, Kmart must be empty today.
  3. Box of Cadbury Roses. This totally makes up for you living here rent-free for 29 years. I see you’ve eaten all the peppermint ones.
  4. Slippers. Hello slippers, nice to see you again. Same time next year?
  5. Snuggie. This is a bathrobe worn backwards. You were always a disappointment.
  6. Apron. Oh, I get it. For when I cook for you?
  7. Breakfast in bed. I see you still have a key to my house.
  8. Macaroni necklace. This would be cute, if you weren’t 37.
  9. Cook books. This’ll go great with my apron…
  10. Nutri Bullet. It harnesses the power of nutrients does it? Did you also buy some magic beans for me?
  11. Scarf. You don’t know me at all do you? You little shit.
  12. Picture of you and your siblings. Get over yourself kids. I’d rather have a tasteful nude of Colin Firth.
  13. Candles. For my romantic night in with the Cadbury Roses.
  14. Neck massager. No thanks, I have a smaller one of these in my underwear drawer.
  15. 50 Shades of Grey. This will go great with my “neck massager.”
  16. World’s best mum mug. For wine. Def good for wine.
  17. House of Cards DVDs. Can you please come over and set my DVD player up? Technology scares me.
  18. Wine. Finally one of your thoughtless presents has worked out.
  19. Hand cream. Oh look! It’s the scarf of cosmetics.

Maybe you should buy your Mum one of these gifts instead?

Image credit: Uproxx

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