Funny

38 Things Australia Could Teach The World

By Clare Acheson - 24 Sep 2015

Funny Australian Things

Okay, so we all know that Australia isn’t exactly leading the way in many respects (looking after the environment is one, native race relations is another…). While there are some epic lessons we could learn from other countries around the world—siestas from the Spanish, sarcasm from the Brits, appropriate winter attire from the Russians—there are also some things that we, as a nation, are incredibly good at.

What are they, you ask? Here are 38 things that Australia could teach the world, and no, politics isn’t one of them…

#1: Making great coffee.

#2: Bragging about making great coffee.

#3: Turning virtually any name into a nickname. Oh, you actually liked the name Robert? Tough, you’re going to be known as Robbo every day of your life from now on.

#4: Shortening a word completely unnecessarily. Seriously, why waste time saying ‘avocado’ when ‘avo’ will do?

#5: Eating avo on toast, aka the best breakfast in the world. We’ll be hitting up Malcolm Turnbull about making this Australia’s national dish later this week…

#6: Making pizza. You can thank Johnny Di Francesco and the team at 400 Gradi for winning this one from the Italians—they officially make the best pizza IN THE WORLD.

#7: Wi-fi. Did you know that the Australian government invented wi-fi?! Although it’s licenced to the Yanks, CSIRO hold the title as official wi-fi invention overlords.

#8: Selfies. OMG Australia invented wi-fi AND selfies?!!! In 2002, an Aussie claimed to have invented the word, making us the authority on the DIY self-portrait. 

#9: Turning everyday life scenarios into a vastly profitable internationally recognised TV series. Neighbours, we salute you.

#10: Musicals. Love them or hate them, without Baz Luhrmann, the musical revival wouldn’t be what it is today.

#11: Rocking the f#¢k out. The UK has the Stones, the US has Hendrix, but we’ve got AC/DC, who trump the lot of them.

#12: Schoolgirl politics. World, Summer Heights High will tell you everything you need to know about private schooling.

#13: Gay pride. While our politics might still be catching up, Sydney Mardi Gras is one hell of a pride party!

#14: Being a feminist badass. Germaine Greer might not be hitting the mark every time these days, but she did pave the way for a lot of rad ladies back in the day. #Girlpower

#15: Beaches. Dayum, we’ve good some good ‘uns.

#16: Surfing really, really well.

#17: Changing the rules of sport to suit you. Case in point: Aussie rules anything.

#18: Daytime drinking. Why do you think summer BBQs were invented?!

#19: Making the best daytime drinking beer in the world. Yup, Temple Brewing Co’s Anytime IPA was crowned the best in the world this year!

#20: Kangaroos. It might be an obvious one, but we’re the only place in the world that has them! Aaah, Skippy…

#21: Snakes. More precisely, killer snakes. All of the killer snakes.

#22: Getting up-close and personal with nature. While he might not have the silky-smooth voice of David Attenborough, we’ve got Steve Irwin to thank for this.

#23: Winning at cricket. If fast-spin bowling is your thing, World, give Shane Warne a call!

#24: Winning at drag queens. Where did RuPaul learn the ropes? From Dame Edna, obvs.

#25: Winning at biscuits. Because Tim Tams are the best ever.

#26: Winning at party snacks. Party pies are a thing of beauty, and fairy bread is like eating my childhood dreams.

#27: Epic music festivals. Who needs Coachella when you’ve got Meredith, Laneway, Golden Plains, Strawberry Fields, Beyond The Valley… Need we say more?

#28: Awesome beauty products. With a focus on botanicals, you only need to look at Aesop, Jurlique and O&M for a snapshot of some of the best beauty buys in the world.

#29: Stunning models. Miranda Kerr, Elle Macpherson, Andrej Pejic, Gemma Ward are only a handful of the beautiful bodies that Australia has turned out.

#30: Making money. We’re not the richest nation in the world, but we did invent the plastic bank note. And that, my friends, will last waaaay longer than any of your paper American dollars or Euro notes.

#31: Making whisky. If you’re looking to learn about making the best whisky in the world, Tasmanian distillery Sullivan’s Cove have beaten the Scots at their own game. Result!

#32: Making wine. If you’ve ever visited Margaret River, that’s all the explanation you need.

#33: Writing books. Tim Winton, Christos Tsiolkas and Peter Carey—one of only three writers to win the famous Booker Prize twice—are all prime examples of awesome Aussie storytelling.

#34: Dubious public holidays. The Queen’s Birthday? Cup Day? The AFL Grand Final?! World, you NEED to get in on this public holiday thing, stat.

#35: Lol-worthy rap music. Jimmy Fallon, thank YOU for alerting the world to our boy Bangs.

#36: How to have a laugh in general. If the rap music doesn’t get you, just look to Chris Lilley and Tim Minchen for some roaring belly-laughs.

#37: Amazingly beautiful street art. We ain’t got the wit of Banksy, but we sure have some incredibly talented street artists (RONE, we’re talking about you) painting some beautiful walls.

#38: Happiness. Hey, you can’t be home to four out of ten of the world’s most liveable cities and NOT know a thing or two about happiness.

Image credit: Pinterest

If you think you're a real deal Brisbanite, you might want to check out 50 Things You Should Have Done To Call Yourself A True Brisbanite.

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