Oh, the girls weekend. The result of a Facebook message, or Whatsapp group, that gets way out of hand in the best way possible. Choosing accommodation, squabbling over money, stocking up on a year’s worth of prosecco “just in case”. There’s a fine science to the girls weekend… Boy talk, wine, dancing, d&ms, bacon. Not necessarily in that order.
Bring on the conversations about who is packing what, the subtle shade throwing, and the inevitable confessions of love. Here we go.
- There will be a Facebook message thread for three months prior.
- You’ll squabble relentlessly trying to figure out who is free when. You’ll dodge birthdays, weddings, baby showers, and work events.
- Finally, after many tears, silences, and even more direct messages poking holes in each other’s excuses, a date will be set.
- And then someone will totally forget they actually have something on that day—can everyone do the following weekend?
- And the cycle repeats.
- Eventually, you settle on a weekend.
- But naturally, one person will pull out at the very last minute.
- And then the carpool dramas begin.
- Somehow, someway, you all get there in one piece. Finally.
- There will be secret allegiances formed in the lead up about who is sharing rooms.
- As always, your excitement will be overwhelming and you’ll go a little overboard on the first night.
- Someone will bring up a grudge she’s been holding since that incident with the taxi in high school. You know the one.
- And then Jenny will assure you she’s fine all weekend.
- But Jenny is not fine. And after two bottles of rose, she’ll spill the beans.
- One of you will innocently suggest a game of vodka roulette.
- Which then turns into dancing on tables to So Fresh Hits Of 2008.
- And pass out on the couches, leaving the bed pointless.
- You’ll spend the morning in a haze of toast, hash browns, and swearing off drinking.
- Before someone finds another box of prosecco and suggests mimosas.
- And then it’s back on.
- But that’s okay, because it’s what girls’ weekends are for. You’ll spend a blissful morning by the pool, feeling relaxed and peaceful.
- Then someone utters the dreaded words, “I think we should go explore?”
- So you hightail it to the local pub, which is about as much exploring as you can handle.
- The local boys will make eyes, potentially even coming over to check where you lovely ladies are from. Cue giggles.
- One of you might just kiss him. Y’know, for the story.
- When the evening comes, someone will realise they didn’t wear enough sunscreen, and will closely resemble a beetroot.
- Then she’ll spend the evening with an ice pack on their forehead.
- It will be almost time for bed, and then one of you will suggest skinny-dipping.
- But the water will be freezing so you’ll only get waist deep before a 30-minute shower.
- A casual game of vodka roulette will turn into dancing on tables.
- There will be a terrifying realisation that you’ve run out of alcohol at about 1am.
- But you pick the lock on the AirBnB cupboard and find a dusty bottle of Midori that will definitely do the trick.
- You’ll take ILY selfie #4,004, but still not be satisfied.
- You will all tackle one of the girls as she attempts to drunk dial her ex.
- But you’ll make some 2am nachos (the cheesiest kind there is) to distract her.
- Then fall asleep, waking up the next morning in a pile of sour cream and guac.
- Then you’ll check to see if anyone is watching, and be like ‘yolo’ and finish it. Because waste.
- Ol’ sunburn McGee will wear a hat she found in one of the cupboards all day long.
- And you will never, ever let her forget it.
- As the weekend draws to a close and you realise you couldn’t quite back up like you used to, you throw caution to the wind and swear to do it again ASAP.
- Then the Facebook messages begin, and it’s all downhill from there. Or up?
Now to work out where to go...
Image credit: greginhollywood.com