41 Things That Will Definitely Happen On Your Next Girls Trip

Oh, the girls weekend. The result of a Facebook message, or Whatsapp group, that gets way out of hand in the best way possible. Choosing accommodation, squabbling over money, stocking up on a year’s worth of prosecco “just in case”. There’s a fine science to the girls weekend… Boy talk, wine, dancing, d&ms, bacon. Not necessarily in that order.

Bring on the conversations about who is packing what, the subtle shade throwing, and the inevitable confessions of love. Here we go.

1. There will be a Facebook message thread for three months prior.
2. You’ll squabble relentlessly trying to figure out who is free when. You’ll dodge birthdays, weddings, baby showers, and work events.
3. Finally, after many tears, silences, and even more direct messages poking holes in each other’s excuses, a date will be set.
4. And then someone will totally forget they actually have something on that day—can everyone do the following weekend?
5. And the cycle repeats.
6. Eventually, you settle on a weekend.
7. But naturally, one person will pull out at the very last minute.
8. And then the carpool dramas begin.
9. Somehow, someway, you all get there in one piece. Finally.
10. There will be secret allegiances formed in the lead up about who is sharing rooms.
11. As always, your excitement will be overwhelming and you’ll go a little overboard on the first night.
12. Someone will bring up a grudge she’s been holding since that incident with the taxi in high school. You know the one.
13. And then Jenny will assure you she’s fine all weekend.
14. But Jenny is not fine. And after two bottles of rose, she’ll spill the beans.
15. One of you will innocently suggest a game of vodka roulette.
16. Which then turns into dancing on tables to So Fresh Hits Of 2008.
17. And pass out on the couches, leaving the bed pointless.
18. You’ll spend the morning in a haze of toast, hash browns, and swearing off drinking.
19. Before someone finds another box of prosecco and suggests mimosas.
20. And then it’s back on.
21. But that’s okay, because it’s what girls’ weekends are for. You’ll spend a blissful morning by the pool, feeling relaxed and peaceful.
22. Then someone utters the dreaded words, “I think we should go explore?”
23. So you hightail it to the local pub, which is about as much exploring as you can handle.
24. The local boys will make eyes, potentially even coming over to check where you lovely ladies are from. Cue giggles.
25. One of you might just kiss him. Y’know, for the story.
26. When the evening comes, someone will realise they didn’t wear enough sunscreen, and will closely resemble a beetroot.
27. Then she’ll spend the evening with an ice pack on their forehead.
28. It will be almost time for bed, and then one of you will suggest skinny-dipping.
29. But the water will be freezing so you’ll only get waist deep before a 30-minute shower.
30. A casual game of vodka roulette will turn into dancing on tables.
31. There will be a terrifying realisation that you’ve run out of alcohol at about 1am.
32. But you pick the lock on the AirBnB cupboard and find a dusty bottle of Midori that will definitely do the trick.
33. You’ll take ILY selfie #4,004, but still not be satisfied.
34. You will all tackle one of the girls as she attempts to drunk dial her ex.
35. But you’ll make some 2am nachos (the cheesiest kind there is) to distract her.
36. Then fall asleep, waking up the next morning in a pile of sour cream and guac.
37. Then you’ll check to see if anyone is watching, and be like ‘yolo’ and finish it. Because waste.
38. Ol’ sunburn McGee will wear a hat she found in one of the cupboards all day long.
39. And you will never, ever let her forget it.
40. As the weekend draws to a close and you realise you couldn’t quite back up like you used to, you throw caution to the wind and swear to do it again ASAP.
41. Then the Facebook messages begin, and it’s all downhill from there. Or up?

Now to work out where to go...

Image credit: greginhollywood.com