Funny

45 Things That Are So Brisbane

By Rachel Lay - 28 Jul 2016

Things To Do in Brisbane

Ah, Brisbane, you sexy little sun-drenched metropolis. You may be the butt of many-a-joke from a snobbish southerner, but we true Brisbane locals understand your understated charm and many secrets. From your kicking café culture to the weather, to…the weather, your appeal is endless, and every true-blue Brisbanite can call on certain basic truths about this fine city with ease.

If you can’t tick off at least 30 of these 45 things that are so Brisbane there’s a good chance you’re from Victoria, you poor thing.

  1. Being able to recognise the scent of Ibis at any time, in any place.
  2. Using the hashtag #brisbanebreakfast to make sure your Sunday is “done right”
  3. Obsessing over CHEAP breakfasts, because public transport is so damn expensive.
  4. Complaining about how cold it is this winter, when it’s 24 degrees and you’re sitting on the beach.
  5. Living in morbid fear of catching the Brisbane flu.
  6. Keeping magazines, spare water, and snacks in your car for any trips to Indro’s carpark.
  7. Wondering, what’s the story behind that pink house on the river opposite New Farm park?!
  8. Seeing Stefan, everywhere.
  9. Keeping an internal tally of how many times you’ve been asked what school you went to.
  10. Judging people based on what school they went to.
  11. Knowing at least one person wherever you are, at all times.
  12. Having a favourite bus driver.
  13. Having a least favourite bus driver.
  14. Losing your shit when an international chain comes to Brisbane.
  15. Losing your actual shit when an international chain chooses the Gold Coast over Brisbane. Really? The Gold Coast? (Looking at you, Gelato Messina.)
  16. Growing up at the Regatta, The Porto or (shamefully) the RE.
  17. Poignantly reflecting on your time at The Regatta. Remember drink cards?!
  18. Understanding that XXXX Gold is practically fizzy water, but drinking it out of pride anyway.
  19. Being able to identify each gecko in your house, by name.
  20. Moving to Melbourne.
  21. Moving back from Melbourne.
  22. Relying on a tiny, Coles-bought room heater for all of winter that doesn’t really do anything but you keep around because it makes you feel better.
  23. Drowning in your own sweat on a summer night out. Attractive.
  24. Going to Fridays. Bonus points if you skip the queue by heading up “the stairs”.
  25. Knowing which streets to avoid due to overzealous magpies and Butcherbirds.
  26. Telling everyone about that time you saw a bull shark at rowing training.
  27. Lamenting over the lack of “opportunity” in Brisbane.
  28. But putting up with it because the dumplings are so good.
  29. Knowing all the best restaurants to hit up in Sunnybank.
  30. Wearing scarves, a beanie, and gloves at least once a year. Just ‘cause.
  31. Judging people for wearing scarves, a beanie, and gloves.  
  32. Being in a state of constant confusion when it comes to understanding the Stefan sky tower.
  33. Knowing that Oprah’s favourite brownies come from Brisbane. Dello Mano, to be precise.
  34. Complaining about how much construction is going on.
  35. Feeling an intense pang of shame whenever anyone mentions Pauline Hansen.
  36. The shock that sets in when we visit the “big smoke” of Sydney and Melbourne. Have these people heard of manners?!
  37. Being asked if Brisbane has “insert generic basic thing” yet. Yes, we do. And FYI, we started Doughnut Time.
  38. Still not being OK after the great avocado shortage of ’16.
  39. Having a story about that one night out on Caxton Street.
  40. Ordering rum and Cokes and defending them as a sophisticated cocktail option.
  41. Bragging about your days as a MET East/West/South/North champion.
  42. Getting makey-outey on top of Mt Coot-tha.
  43. Preferring either Straddie or Moreton, never both. 
  44. Having food stolen by an Ibis.
  45. Having gone on at least one date that started at HJ’s square.  

Can relate? Here's 50 Truths About Brisbane's Winter you'll probably relate to.

Image credit: Travelling in Aus

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

Tags:

Funny

You May Also Like