I’m not sure if you’ve been keeping tabs on this, but there has been a recent surge of homage bars and cafés popping up around the country.
Following the opening of George’s Bar in Fitzroy (a big fat nod to the George Costanza who graced our screens for the whole of the 90s), Australians have patronised the likes of a Thornsbury café called Larry David’s, and a M*A*S*H themed bar on Caxton Street called Ginger’s – that’s three, that’s a precedent, this is now a thing. But the mother of all homages is about to blast this game onto a whole new level today when Brisbane becomes home to a world first: the Death Star Canteen.
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to make a joke so funny that someone opens a café about it? ASK EDDIE IZZARD. The Death Star Canteen is what I like to call an homage within an homage. An homage inception, if you will, simultaneously paying humble tribute to one of the most celebrated space-themed sub-cultures of all time and one of the most revered Eddie Izzard’s of the age.
In celebration of this momentous opening (it's May the 4th geddit?), we got to thinking about some other homages we’d like to see happen:
#1 Daryl Kerrigan’s Pool Room, The Castle
Come on, the vibes would be great here. Think decorative jousting sticks mounted on the wall, copies of the Australian constitution readily available for perusal, and greyhound races on the TV with all the wires left in plain view as a reminder of man’s ability to create electricity. And rissoles, don’t forget the rissoles. You’ll blow your top when you see what she’s done with them.
#2 Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, Mad Men
Ideally for this homage to Don Draper & Friends, there wouldn’t actually be any designated bar but a bunch of drink carts strategically stationed around what looks like an open plan office. There’d also be some lounge tunes, a smattering of raunchy sex couches, and a don’t forget the dress code: men must wear sports coats and ties, while women get the pleasure of beehives and pearls. Ride-on lawnmowers optional.
#3 Survivor: South Brisbane
As if you wouldn’t love a Survivor themed bar. I imagine the fit out for this place would be just a bamboo raft and a tarp strung between two low-hanging branches. All menu items would have to be won in various tests of physical and mental aptitude, and at the end of the night someone gets betrayed by the people they thought were their friends.
#4 A Food Truck Called Priscilla
The reigning monarch of the Australian desert, a food truck called Priscilla is the rolling emblem of pride this town never knew it always needed. Imagine the glitter! The sequins! The flagrant disregard for designated bedtimes! Priscilla is the diesel-powered dealer of your wildest fancies and announces her entrance with a full metal sound system blasting more ABBA than you can handle. Menu items are hardly important, but I expect they’d be something fabulous.
#5 Casino Royale, James Bond
This is where 007 fiends come to get their vodka rocks off and maybe get shot in the process. I’m seeing martini lists of crudely constructed sex puns, furnishings of high stakes card tables and roulette wheels, and a squadron of burly henchmen in black turtlenecks and cute hats manning the exits. Cover is $1000 a head and at the end of the night a helicopter crashes into a beer garden proudly sponsored by Heineken.
Image credit: AWOL
Want all the information about the opening of Brisbane's Death Star Canteen? Check out the details in The Directory!