Funny

50 Things You Should Have Done To Call Yourself A True Brisbanite

By Laura Walkley - 17 Aug 2015

The kids privileged enough to be born in the great city that is Brisbane will often write it off as boring, and I myself have pondered WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DOUBLE DECKER TOURIST BUS EVEN SHOWING PEOPLE??? But in our hearts we know that a city that takes a holiday for a show, has such glorious weather, and is this obsessed with doughnuts is pretty great, and in actual fact there's no shortage of things to do in Brisbane if you know where to look.

I say, to truly proclaim yourself a real Brisbane local you should have done everything on this list.

  1. Laugh at tourists riding Lipton bikes.
  2. Have a picnic at River Quay.
  3. Get attacked by an ibis while you’re having said picnic.
  4. Skip school/uni/work and road-trip down the Gold Coast to catch some rays/eat Gelato Messina.
  5. Get far too intoxicated at The RE on a Wednesday night while wearing thongs.
  6. Climb Mount Coot-tha and marvel at your city’s beauty and your own physical prowess.
  7. Instagram your hike so everyone else can.
  8. Wonder why the Stefan Skyneedle exists.
  9. Catch an ever-lasting cold from the Ekka.
  10. Take a selfie at GOMA and make it your profile picture.
  11. Go to ride the Wheel of Brisbane then decide it’s too expensive.
  12. Ride your bike along the Manly Esplanade and smile at all the cute dogs.
  13. Instagram a box of Doughnut Time doughnuts. Guaranteed bulk likes.
  14. Down a beer at The Plough Inn then proceed to The Fox Hotel for a top notch Sunday session.
  15. See a musical at QPAC and be wildly impressed.
  16. Suddenly realise you suffer from claustrophobia at the Eat Street Markets.
  17. Take a wrong turn on the ICB and end up in Ipswich. Sad face.
  18. Spend all your money on a ticket to Splendour In The Grass only to show up and find the event is actually the inevitable Splendour in the Mud.
  19. Drink a cocktail from a pineapple at Alfred & Constance.
  20. Go on an awkward South Bank date and probably end up at Max Brenner.
  21. Take a green cab, ridden by a very good looking Brazilian boy.
  22. Dance like no one is watching on the Friday’s Riverside D-floor.
  23. Celebrate your birthday in the Botanical Gardens.
  24. Catch every show you can at Brisbane Festival.
  25. Munch on the best burger of your life at one of Brisbane’s epic burger joints.
  26. Buy all your veggies for the week at Jan Powers Farmers Markets.
  27. Faint from joy after trying the rocky road hot chocolate at the Dark Chocolatier by the Noosa Chocolate Factory.
  28. Go to a blue-light disco or (No Lights No Lycra if you’re over 12) and dance your worries away.
  29. Run up the stairs of Kangaroo Point like a mad man for the sake of fitness.
  30. Drink a bowl of chai at The Three Monkeys.
  31. Watch a cricket game at The Gabba and try not to fall asleep.
  32. Walk through the Valley late on a Saturday night while sober and resolve to never drink again.
  33. Spend your whole pay cheque on a James Street shopping spree.
  34. Roadtrip to Sunnybank just for yum cha.
  35. Discover your love of whiskey and apple juice at Lefty’s.
  36. Get the old brain working by watching a documentary at Palace Centro Cinemas.
  37. Make your own ice cream at Cowch.
  38. Somehow get talked into running the Bridge to Brisbane and end up walking it.
  39. Miss the bus, then wait an hour for the next one to come.
  40. See a movie at the Southbank cinemas and sneak in a burrito from GYG.
  41. Contemplate going to UQ just because it’s so beautiful.
  42. Get really into acai bowls thanks to Kiss The Berry.
  43. Pay way too much for parking in the CBD.
  44. Climb the gigantic tree at Wellington Point.
  45. Have a gelato on North Stradbroke Island while watching the sun set.
  46. See a gig at The Brightside then grab some Dorito popcorn chicken afterwards.
  47. Buy an edible gift from Jocelyn’s Provisions then eat it yourself before you make it out of the carpark.
  48. Throw back a craft beer with some friends at Archive in West End.
  49. Have a dip in South Bank’s ‘beach’.
  50. Appreciate the fact that Brisbane is actually pretty darn awesome.

Want more of the best things to do in Brisbane? Check out The MINI Edition: Our guide to the best new openings and events in Brisbane this month.

Image credit: The Buzz

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