World Famous Funnel Cakes | Image credit: Ariana Gillrie
Golden Gaytime has been slaying ‘Stralyans since they hit the streets in 1959. What is so remarkable about the Gaytime is that no one ever expected Australians to latch so ardently onto a dessert that looked like crumbed chicken on a stick BUT WE DID. In light of the Golden Gaytime’s recent foray into 1.5 litre tubs we got to thinking: can anything beat that?
Yes, actually. It can.
Here are our picks of Brisbane’s best desserts that put Gaytimes in the shade:
Turkish Delight Pannacotta at Azafran
What it is: turkish delight pannacotta, pistachio ice cream, saffron caramel and fairy floss.
Why it beats a Gaytime: besides the obvious visual impact, Azafran’s pannacotta is well creamier than a Gaytime’s innards and comes packed with a stupefying depth of flavouryums from every vantage. Try getting that level of complexity from a crumb-crusted popsicle.
Salted Caramel Bombe Alaska at Alfred & Constance
What it is: vanilla spongecake, salted caramel sauce, Johnny’s Smack caramel popcorn and meringue.
Why it beats a Gaytime: while the Gaytime remains largely unchanged, Alfred & Constance have totally revamped their Alaska so that it’s totally worth skipping dinner and drinks.
Aero Chocolate at Longtime
What it is: shards of Aero chocolate with passionfruit curd, smoked chocolate sauce, dehydrated raspberries and lemon custard gelato.
Why it beats a Gaytime: however glorious they may be, Gaytimes only offer a WAFER THIN chocolate coating and it leaves us raw with want. Longtime has taken inspiration from another Australian junk food staple and completely obliterated our cocoa cravings with this smashing and super-light concoction.
Latte Pop at Queen of Pops
What it is: your morning brew with a double ristretto shot frozen into a creamy popsicle.
Why it beats a Gaytime: the caffeine content of a latte pop means that popsicles before lunch = productivity. Gaytimes before lunch = crying in the shower.
Nutella Sundae Sweet Potato Chips from Chip Tease
What it is: sugar coated sweet potato chips with Nutella and Chantilly cream.
Why it beats a Gaytime: Chip Tease’s dessert sconce comes with a whole vegetable somewhere in it (fusion!) and won’t melt all over your hand or give you brain-freeze.
Truffle and Honey Parfait at Anise
What it is: truffle and honey parfait with pistachio, fig, saffron and lavender.
Why it beats a Gaytime: parfaits are the trump card of the dessert menu. Ever said to someone ‘Hey, you wanna get some parfait?’ and they’ve been like ‘Nah, man I don’t like no parfait’. Didn’t think so. Not even in winter.
Loukomades at Zeus Street Greek
What it is: better know as ‘honey puffs’, loukomades are like little Greek doughnuts served with honey, cinnamon and walnuts.
Why it beats a Gaytime: good honey puffs are hard to come by, but Zeus Street makes them fresh to order. Also, they’re honey puffs… try arguing that a Golden Gaytime is better than a plate of honey puffs.
World Famous Funnel Cakes at Eat Street Markets
What it is: almost a waffle, not quite a donut, topped with whipped cream and delicious chocolate like ferrero rocher or cherry ripe or rocky road.
Why it beats a Gaytime: while the Gaytime has texture and pop, the funnel cake is kind of like every dessert you ever wanted rolled into one big, amazing, tasty mess.