Brisbanites are, generally, a bit different. We act and talk differently to those faux sophisticates down south, and also have slightly distinct rules of social engagement. Honesty is appreciated a bit more up here, with any fakery frowned upon. Courtship rituals can be, let’s say, pretty basic.
The Urban List is always here to help, so we’ve composed 15 pick-up lines especially for Brisbane peeps. Use these, and the person you are trying to woo will no doubt be so impressed at your sagacity and charm that you will probably be getting down and dirty literally within minutes. (Note: Most of these would probably end up with you getting a drink chucked in your face. And you would deserve it.)
- I like my women like the Brisbane River; bendy and dirty.
- Are you Jan Powers? Because I like the look of your produce.
- Mind if we make like the ICB and bypass the part where I buy you drinks and we talk? I wanna get inner-city jiggy wit you right now.
- (Turning head sideways to ogle) Damn, baby, you’ve got legs like Waterworks Road.
- Want to come to the Ekka with me? Play your cards right and a horrendous flu won’t be the only thing you’ll be taking home with you afterwards. I might even show you my Bertie Beetle.
- Kay McGrath just called me with a newsflash. She said you’ll be wanted for arson after starting fires in my bedroom later tonight.
- I’m like the Wheel of Brisbane, honey. I ain’t cheap, but I’ll take you to heaven for 10-12 minutes at a time.
- Baby, I’m like the City Cat—cruisy, fun and often the easiest option when there’s nothing better around.
- Why don’t we go back to my crib? We can relax and let our hair down like Brisbane relaxed its drinking laws and let its hair down to evolve from a big country town to a more cosmopolitan and international city during Expo ’88.
- Are you a heritage-listed bridge joining Upper Roma Street and Southbank? Because you’re certainly making my willy Jolly.
- Sex with me is like Caxton Street on Origin night: drunken, sticky, and raucous.
- Sex with me is like a Savage Garden song in the 2000s; Sweet, smooth, bewildering and inexplicably popular.
- Sex with me is like Brisbane Lord Mayor Graham: Quirky.
- How about a romantic picnic up on Mount Coot-tha? Or we could skip the picnic and you can mount [insert your name here].
- Should we go to GOMA or do you want to come back to mine and create our own form of modern art? You may find it baffling, but you’ll tell all your friends you went there.
Want more? Here's our gen Y guide to getting a summer body without really trying.