News that the last great celebrity couple portmanteau, Brangelina, is over has shocked and saddened many. Never one to miss a chance to commiserate over some carbs and sugar, we’ve compiled this handy list of break up foods to help you deal with this tragic day.
Let’s eat our feelings.
The Brownies | I Heart Brownies
Fortitude Valley & Wintergarden
Like lemon juice in the wound, these insanely decadent heart shaped brownies, stuffed with the likes of peanut butter and salted caramel, are just the right shape to remind you of fickle love lost. Let their gluten-free squidgyness ease your pain.
All The Cocktails | Mr & Mrs G
An aptly named bar to remember Brangelina, Mr & Mrs G is the ideal spot to recount your favourite moments from their decade long romance, like the time they met filming Mr and Mrs Smith, or that time Brad grew this beard (let’s be honest, the beard was a red flag).
The Dessert Burger | Fritzenburger
Combine two powerful break-up foods, burgers and dessert, into one, and you have a meal that will make you forget where it hurts, because soon it will only be hurting in your stomach. As ambiguous as Shiloh’s gender, this dessert burger comes with a chocolate ice cream patty piled with strawberries, raspberry ketchup and custard, squished into a sweet milk bun. They also have Twistie fries. Shut up and take my money, Fritzenburger.
Everything | Mister Fitz
When the world doesn’t make sense, wedge some ice cream between two pieces of cookie dough and add sprinkles. Love may not last, but ice cream is forever.
The Chip Butty | Hope & Anchor
Nothing says ‘I’ve given up on love’ like hot chips on a sandwich.
Pizza and a Bottle of Vodka | Alfredo’s Pizzeria
Analyse the subtle real-life parallels in By The Sea while sobbing and simultaneously chowing down on a pizza delivered from Alfredo’s, firstly because they’re delicious, and secondly because they also handily deliver booze. Glug, glug.
Image credit: Vineal Vixen