If you are anything like me, you're cheap.
You want to know about Brisbane's bargains and discounts; not just some of the time, but all of the time. You are forever searching for cheap eats and deals and when you find one, it makes you very pleased.
Well, we all have to eat, so cut-price meals, in particular, are a wonderful thing that everyone can benefit from. To save you the trouble of searching for discount dining options yourself, we've found something value-licious for you to eat around Brisbane for every single day of the week.
Here are seven food deals from places that offer genuinely good cheap eats in Brisbane. You should probably start working your way through this list today.
Libertine Banquet & Movie Deal
If Garfield were still alive today, his whole opinion of Mondays would surely be flipped around completely once he found out about Libertine's offer. The luxuriant five-course banquet for two people is priced at just $44pp. Though the menu rotates, it's Libertine, so you know it's going to be amazing. Not enough for you? The deal includes two movie tickets at nearby The Barracks Palace Cinemas. Classy date night, lads.
2-for-1 Meals at Brewhouse
Seriously, kids, if you can't find any cheap eats in Brisbane on Tuesdays, you might be beyond help. Pick your favourite. One sure bet is the Brewhouse, which has a two-for-one deal going on that most parsimonious of days, which means you can indulge in their hearty, tasty meals for a discount price. If you got the pork ribs served with coleslaw, chats and charred corn on the cob, for excample, and your date got the 350g marinated sirloin, you'd only pay $35 for both. That's why they call it two-for-one. Oh, and the same thing applies for desserts.
2-for-1 Mains at Archive
This West End jaunt tends to show you a rollicking good time whatever night of the week you happen to wander in there. If it is a Wednesday that you roll up, make sure you haven't eaten dinner (or lunch) yet, because main meals are two for the price of one all day long. And this ain't just plain old pub food, there are options like Malaysian Prawn and Chicken Laksa ($26) and Confit Duck ($28), as well as more traditional fare such as Chicken Parmy ($22). You'll probably need to bring a friend if you're to take advantage of this, unless you're a terrible glutton.
All-You-Can-Eat Mussels at The Fox
There's all-you-can-eat-mussels, and then there's all-you-can-eat mussels, and what The Fox offers up on Thursday nights falls well and truly into the second category. For $25 you get to select from a range of flavours, including white wine, cream and garlic, and chorizo, tomato and chilli. Each pot comes with chips and crusty bread, and they're all different enough that you'll want to keep ploughing through them. As far as cheap eats in Brisbane go these are on the 'fancy' end of the spectrum, making this a shame-free cheap date night option.
Lamb on the Spit from the Hellenic House
Every item on the menu at Hellenic House is amazingly cheap, and it's all so, so tasty. Frills you will not find; this is just simple, delectable Greek food. On Friday nights they do up a lamb souvla, and servings cost a measley $15. Get on it, Brisbane.
Sliders and Ciders at Victoria Park
Between 5pm and 9pm on Saturdays at the Victoria Park Bar and Bistro you can buy yourself a pot of cider and three scrumptious sliders for $20. That should set up your evening very nicely.
Pork and Beer at the Brat Haus
There are plenty of Sunday sessions going around, but how many of them involve giant servings of roasted pork? In the court yard of the Fortitude Valley Brat Haus they have taken to preparing pork hocks and bellies on their grill on Sundays, and they will sell one to you for $20 along with some chips, a salad, and a glass of wine of German tap beer. Ah, Sunday. That's my fun day.
TUL Note: Hailing from the 'Paris of the South,' Bundaberg, Dan Colasimone is back in Brisbane after spending the better part of a decade living overseas. He also writes about sport. He once completed an Arts degree. Twitter: @ArgentinaFW
Image credit: The Pioneer Woman