Curly | Sophia - TUL Content Producer
Let's straighten this out. Curls are the worst.
The 'Body' argument is the most frequent reason straighties give for wanting curls. You can call it body, call it volume, call it whatever you want. At the end of the day, it all comes down to having a giant boofy ball on top of your head, and this so called 'volume' is not a good thing. I'm actually a hazard to have in the passenger seat of your car, because my hair creates a blind spot that the driver cannot see through. And swimming caps are a nightmare.
Having curly hair makes people think you're zany, funny, and more often than not, a little bit crazy. That might not sound too bad, but entire careers have been closed off to me because of my head o' hair. I had to put my newsreader aspirations to bed years ago, and I can't work anywhere remotely corporate where looking serious is even vaguely important.
The volume problem brings me to my next point of irritation: frizz. More often than not, curls get frizzy. As a general rule, if it is raining, has been raining, or is going to rain, my hair is going to get frizzy. And, yes, I have tried that product you're about to tell me about. And no, it did not work. The worst is when people bypass the description 'curly' and go straight to 'frizzy' when describing my hair—this is most regularly done by insensitive men who fail to register the distinction. Don't do that guys, it's just mean, and I can't control the humidity so give me a break, why don't you.
The antithesis of frizz is, what I like to call, The Swishy, Swashy Ponytail. Straight-haired girls may not even be aware this is a thing, but if there is one hairstyle I desire it is the long silky ponytail that goes swish, swish while you walk. It might sound silly, but when you're used to your ponytail resembling a pompom this style seems like the holy grail of hair.
Another reason it's hard to be curly haired, is that we have a distinct absence of positive role models. Red heads have Jessica Rabbit and that girl from American Pie. Heck, even bald girls have cool role models (Solange!) But who have curly haired girls got? Annie the orphan? Oprah? Do not even get me started on Carrie 'I'm a Fictional Idiot' Bradshaw.
The one shining pinnacle in my world of curly haired trauma is Felicity Porter. If you don't remember the televisional brilliance from the '90s that was Felicity, then shame on you. While she was kind of annoying, Flic's hair was bangin', and she got to make out with Scott Speedman, which is a plus. This show's demise can be directly attributed to Kerri Russell cutting her curls off in season 2. But that is ONE GIRL. Out off all the curly haired girls. ONE. The rest of us are busy googling 'discount ghd' and waiting for the '80s to come back into fashion.
Straight | Kim Barnard - TUL Content Manager
Curly haired girls need to quit their whining. There, I said it.
What, you're not satisfied with your hair's effortless body? You hate the way it draws attention when you walk into a room? You loathe the casual, fun, easygoing vibe it portrays? Gee, I know, it's tough.
I have spent my whole life with locks that are straight straight straight. Many an hour has been spent working with product after product, 'guaranteed' to make my hair look curled (but not too curled), done (but not too done). All to no avail. It's straight and fine and it's staying that way.
What I wouldn't give for some natural curls. Even just a bit of a wave would be appreciated. Those curly girls (as they shall be known forever more) don't know how good they've got it.
Sure, I bet it takes a while to get the styling down pat, and I bet there's even a (gasp!) bad hair day or two thrown into the mix (straight-haired girls have those too, y'know) but I would much rather hair with a bit of life than lacklustre strands that fall limply down my back and stay there NO MATTER WHAT.
Which brings me to my next point—variety. Curly girls have a built-in interest factor when it comes to their mop. The slight unpredictability of the curl is the best bit. Wearing curly hair out one day, might look very different to wearing it out the next. Putting it up in a pony or bun? Bangin'. No flat mops here. Just a messy, bedhead look that makes straight-haired girls like me want to cry and pinch you.
And, to continue with this rambling, incoherent 'debate', if having straight hair is so good, why does pretty much every woman curl their hair in some way when they need to get all dolled up?* Aha. See? I rest my case.
And boys, don't feel left out. We all know the saying 'curls get the girls' has been scientifically proven to be accurate. There's just something about a ringletted mop that gets hearts racing and it's an advantage that frankly, is a little unfair.
*The last time I attempted to do this myself, I ended up with a blistered ear, runny makeup (yes, from my tears), and a head that looked like a sheep that got left in the dryer.