Aside from its slippery tendencies when freshly washed, my hair is relatively well-behaved. As such, the main thing I look for in a shampoo is its ability to ‘smooth’, or just any shampoo at the grocery store that isn’t the very cheapest one. I picked a side long ago: I’m much more concerned about face jams than I am hair gunk.
Imagine, then, my surprise at discovering not one but three shampoos that had I feel feelings for! From the one whose ingredients are as customisable as a sandwich, to the one that smells exactly like my favourite perfume, these are worth your consideration.
Cuvée Shampoo
The brand Cuvée has no Byredo affiliation that I am aware of. Weird, because it’s a certifiable scent dupe for my main summertime squeeze, a confident, staunchly sticky Byredo fragrance called Pulp. And so it earns the #1 position on this list.
On being gifted Cuvée, I noted its package bears no promises of ‘nourishing’ or ‘strengthening’. In fact, the austere bottle is so claim-less, the total word count on the front is 3. One of those words is ‘shampoo’, as Cuvée’s shampoo is called simply ’SHAMPOO’. Don’t hate them for being classy and French.
Mystery prevails with a website that reveals nothing about the fantastic scent of the shampoo, which is FINE because I can explain it for you using words developed for Byredo’s website: “A compilation of exotic and Swedish influencers create an international fruit basket. A dramatic composition focused on the idea of ripe, sweet, shapeless mass of fruit, an unruly and intense savour.” And so you see, my hair and skin are cut from the same international fruit basket.
It also makes my hair soft, and looks posh in the bathroom.
Noughty To The Rescue Moisture Rich Shampoo
Despite my fanciful pastimes up above, I stay humble when it comes to buying my own shampoo. Suppose, aesthetically, we called Cuvée a polite whisper. Noughty’s ‘To the Rescue’ is a paradoxical billboard ablaze. And, it displays fairly convincing messages.
This goop will “gently cleanse while replenishing lost moisture to transform dry and damaged hair”. Sounds like any other shampoo bottle. However, combined with a nice price and some modern appointments, I’m impressed.
Costing a tidy $9, millennials like me will enjoy its perky packaging and zeitgeist-y USPs: 100% vegan and cruelty-free, no silicones, parabens, sulphates or petrochemicals. I’m not certain what all of these are, but I’m positive I don’t want to squirt them on my head, so it’s a yes from me (Plus, ‘clean’ products are typically priced much more absurdly). It’s also oil based—sunflower seed, sweet almond, others—and plant oils have faithfully righted many of my hair wrongs in the past. Promising.
Function Of Beauty Customisable Shampoo & Conditioner
You wouldn’t wear size 10 shoes on your size 7 feet, so why should you use a shampoo that doesn’t fit your hair? Asks she of supermarket shampoo tendencies (me).
But if I were to deal my hair the hand it deserves, I might begin with Function of Beauty, a made-to-order shampoo brand furnished with a team of “world-class MIT engineers and data scientists”. Their website references “the lab”, and this team pulls “from hundreds of ingredients to potentially create billions of completely unique shampoo and conditioner combinations.” Fascinating.
Opting in is unlike the add-to-cart tap and click we’re all accustomed to. You’ll firstly take a short quiz to divulge your hair type, structure, scalp condition and hair *goals*. Then, personalise the bottles for your unique formulas, which are concocted and delivered either as a once off, or at regular intervals as a subscription of sorts.
Behind every good head of hair is a cohort of scientists, you know?
Do you like the sound of glitter face masks, unicorn fruit whipped body butter and a sugar scrub made of moon rocks? Yes, they exist.
Image credit: Timothy Paul Smith.