Funny

You Know You’ve Lived In Brisbane Too Long When…

By Daniel Colasimone - 17 Oct 2016

Living in Brisbane

Have you been in Brisbane so long that you now know it better than you know yourself? Does it feel like an old shirt to you? You know, the ratty one you’ve had forever but can’t bring yourself to throw away and therefore just wear around the house? You may have been here too long, my friend. And by too long, I mean: Why would you ever leave??

Here are 15 signs you’ve been in Brisbane for eternity.

  1. Bus drivers on various lines know you.
  2. They’re thinking of naming a street after you.
  3. Your local café has had several generations of owners in your time. It’s a completely different place to what it once was yet you still go there all the time out of sheer laziness.
  4. People refer to your house as ‘The ol’ [your name] place’.
  5. You claim to have known every Brisbane band, from Powderfinger to the Resin Dogs, BEFORE they made it big.
  6. You’ve accompanied visitors to Lone Pine at least five times. Some of the koalas refuse to be photographed with you anymore.
  7. When you travel to Sydney or Melbourne and the big-city folk give you shit about living in Brisbane, you fire up and defend the city (‘It’s come quite a long way, actually!’), instead of meekly accepting their taunts like most people do.
  8. You remember a time when bars pretty much just served XXXX and VB. Crownies were considered craft beers then and ordering one was a clear statement that you thought you were better than everyone else in the pub.
  9. You regularly say stuff like, ‘hey, there never used to be a bridge here!’.
  10. You’ve known Andrew Lofthouse, Jenny Woodward and Kay McGrath so long you consider them family.
  11. You recall a golden era when there wasn’t an ibis perched on every bin.
  12. Your enthusiasm for Riverfire has diminished ever so slightly year by year that now you often forget to even glance up from your drink when the fireworks are on.
  13. You remember a time when it was kind of funny to say ‘Bris-Vegas’ or ‘Brisneyland’ and not be totally lame.
  14. You remember a time in the olden days when Sam Thaiday didn’t play for the Broncos.
  15. You tell war stories to youngsters about what it used to be like to go out in the Valley back in the day, and about how ‘at least people respected each other’ when they were trying to hump anything that moved on the dancefloor, eating entire kebabs in one bite, throwing up in the gutter and getting into screaming-crying arguments in the taxi queue.

Think yourself a true Brisbanite? Read 52 things every Brisbanite has said at some point.

Image credit: Phys

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