6 Melbourne Food Hybrids We Can’t Believe Actually Exist

By Clare Acheson
28th Jul 2015

It’s no secret that we love the weird and wonderful here at The Urban List. And by “we,” I mean me, dear Listers. As resident “OMG-gross-no-way-epic” food fanatic, I’m always on the hunt for a dish that’s really doing something different, and I don’t mean the latest deconstructed gastro-monstrosity. When it comes to freaky foods, I’m continuously chasing stomach-churning combos that instil that heart-racing feeling of disbelief. Or maybe that’s just a sugar high. Who knows. Without further ado, here are 6 food hybrids I can’t actually believe exist in our culinary crazed metropolis. Go forth and conquer!

#1: Pulled Pork & Gruyere Doughnuts

God bless the chef who looked at a jam doughnut and thought, “This would be hella more tasty if it was stuffed full of pork and cheese.” This doughy, meaty delight is a real treat, especially if you pair it with an exceptionally good French red, of which the home of this monstrosity has plenty of.

Tell me where, goddammit!

Hell of the North, Fitzroy. You’re welcome.

#2: Lamington Beer

Straya, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Not satisfied with merely eating a lamington while drinking a beer (a foodie combo that is, in my humble opinion, grossly underrated, especially when consumed with having a bath), somebody out there is making Lamington beer. And you know what? It’s actually drinkable! Like I’d order it in a bar to drink it and not just to show off amongst my IPA-sipping friends.

Tell me where, goddammit!

Hit up the good folks at Quiet Deeds for this epic beverage. You’d better be quick though, it’s a limited edition brew.

#3: Teriyaki Salmon & Nori Tacos

This dude and the pork doughnut dude must be good mates, amirite? Tacos. Sushi. Sushi tacos. Zing! A feat of food hybrid genius, this nori taco (yes, that’s a hard shell taco made out of nori seaweed) comes stuffed full of rice, Japanese pickled veg and teriyaki salmon. A seriously delicious food experience that delivers 100% on both freakiness and flavour.

Tell me where, goddammit!

Mr Miyagi in Prahran. Pick me up one while you’re there, yeah?

#4: S’more Pizza Cones

If an ice-cream cone, a pizza and a s’more got loose and had a threesome, this sugar-laced atrocity would be their lovechild. Unless you’ve studied our article on Melbourne’s 8 Most WTF Foods (if you have, I salute you, now drop me line and let’s start forming plans for world domination), you’re probably wondering, “What the hell is a pizza cone anyway?!”. It’s a pizza base, formed into an ice-cream cone shape, duh! This would maybe make sense if said cone was then crammed full of mozzarella, chopped tomatoes and basil leaves, but it’s not. It’s stuffed with Nutella, marshmallows and crumbled biscuit. I can’t even.

Tell me where, goddammit!

Konopizza in the Jam Factory, South Yarra. Just plan your escape route before the sugar jitters kick in, folks.

#5: Bacon aioli, aka: Baioli

Bacon has been processed into just about every other food variant (or, come to think of it, non-food variant) there is out there, but never before have I seen bacon aioli. A hybrid in the truest form of the word, this incredible find brings the best out of both sources of inspiration, combining them in one condiment to rule them all. Please, somebody make me a sushi taco and top it in baioli.

Tell me where, goddammit!

Temple Brewing Co. Shhhh…Like any precious foodstuff, it takes a lot of time and effort to produce a relatively small yield of baioli, so keep this one to yourselves, Listers.

#6: Meatballs and Spaghetti Gelato

Looks like meatballs and spaghetti. Feels like meatballs and spaghetti. Tastes like the most incredible chocolate, white peach and raspberry dessert you’re gonna eat all year. Not only is this mind-boggling dish one of our top savoury-vs-sweet food hybrids du jour, it also comes served in an EDIBLE TIN. The most f-ed up foodie experience you’ll have all year, guaranteed. 

Tell me where, goddammit!

An exclusive by gelato gods Messina, this treat is only available to guests at St. Jerome’s – The Hotel. As if you needed another reason to finally spend a night there.

Got a hidden food hybrid I haven’t yet found or, better yet, run a restaurant that serves up some spectacularly, um, “special” dishes? Contact me here. High fives, freaky food fans!

Image credit: Gelato Messina for St. Jeroome's - The Hotel by Michelle Jarni for The Urban List

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