"His moustache is a powerful aphrodisiac. Hairs from his moustache brush are incredibly sought after to be used in love potions and fertility centres around the world"
- Ron Burgundy, 2004
Ladies, are you dreading the onslaught of pash rashes and the sudden realisation that every man you know and love looks either like Zorro, Nietzsche or Albert Einstein?
Gentlemen, are you reveling in the glory of your Ned Kelly-inspired facial growth, something that is now totally acceptable in public?
Yes people, it IS that time of year again when the men are hairier than usual, but none of us can care because it's in the name of a fantastic cause. Movember is all about raising funds for prostate cancer, testicular cancer and mental health. Participants in Movember commit to growing a mo' for the whole month and, in doing so, spread the word amongst other soon-to-be-hairy civilians.
There's a bunch of ways to get involved: host your own mo-party; get your business to sponsor your mo; or, if you're of the less-hairy sex, become a mo-sista and raise funds for our boys. It's such a worthwhile cause, so show your support for the boys by getting involved!
I can only imagine that the highlight of Movember for you blokes is either a) touching your face, b) grooming that symbol of your masculinity, or c) both. In order for those bristles of yours to shine their very brightest, here's our roundup of the best places to get your mo' and beard (and body!) looked after. To all those participating in Movember, we salute you!
Find us a hairdresser that'll give you a beer instead of a glass of water, and you'll finally have a place on par with Dr Follicles. The idea is that having a haircut should be as much about the music and having a good time as it is about making you look spiffy. They'll trim your beard and cut your hair, they won't talk to you if you don't want to chat, and it's only $27.50. On top of that you get a free beer. A free one! No bookings and no fuss. Hurrah!
Dr Follicles | Various locations across Fitzroy, Richmond and St Kilda
Possibly Melbourne's most highly esteemed beard trimmers, Uncle Rocco's is the place to get fancy about your face. Come in with your straggly mo' and prepare to have it tamed into submission through the use of vintage cut throat razors and some very delicious smelling facial soaps, finished off with a rum based cologne – so manly. Surrounded by mini combi vans, happy bearded gents and a smell of oak, Uncle Rocco's is the Tom Selleck of barber shops.
Uncle Rocco's | 1 Fennell Street in Port Melbourne
If you're after an old school shave but are closer to South Yarra, then head on down to Kings Domain. For $90 you can have the ultimate man groom, including a haircut, the closest shave known to man, and a good old-fashioned head rub (mmm). They even do that thing they do in the old movies where they shave the fellas with the straight blade and then put a hot towel on their face (double mmm!). You only get love like that on Singapore Airlines when they hand out the hot towelettes! Kings Domain is also a visual delight, with lots of shiny vintage antiques, white tiles and wooden floors. It's all very masculine, and it's all very appealing for your moustache.
Kings Domain | 1/177 Toorak Road in South Yarra
Behold one the greatest moustaches of all time - Tom Selleck.
Down an alley and up a winding staircase resides the brilliant Captains of Industry, offering the best of a man's world – breakfast and lunch, bespoke footwear and leather, made-to-measure menswear, and of course, haircuts and straight razor shaves. Don't tell me your mo' hairs aren't tingling with delight at the prospect of people watching from a CBD window, cup of coffee in hand and the smell of soapy balm filling the air. The open loft space is filled with knick knacks and good music to boot, plus all the products they use are on sale, so while you'll leave a bit poorer, you'll be very much content.
Captains of Industry | Level 1, 2 Somerset Place in Melbourne
Another old school barbershop in a tiny little nook, but accompanied with serious attitude, Electric Brain looks straight out of an Ed Wood set. The walls are covered in vintage pictures and kitsch items like mug shots and statues of Mary, cut throats and old tobacco cases full of shaving soap and, best of all, the barbers are tattooed, into great music and undeniably sexy (so be sure to accompany your boy). The days of needing those tragic magazines you find in your regular barbershop for eye candy are gone. Forever. Sit down in front of their one giant mirror and get an old fashioned trim and shave and leave a much cooler person. Ladies with short hair are welcome too!
Electric Brain | 473 Brunswick Street in North Fitzroy
The days are over when a man going to the day spa for a pore cleanse and a deep tissue massage meant emasculation. With Man, What a Fuss you won't have to don your Dame Edna outfit to hide your love of good hygiene from your friends. With two locations (one in the city and one in Docklands), you can even get a quick shave during your lunch break. However, those of you who were hoping to bring your lady along too for some facial fun, please note Man, What a Fuss is a herbal tea and female free zone. With packages like 'Superman' and 'A Bride's Wish = Wedded Bliss', you'll feel very special indeed after massaging your scalp, and ego, here.
Man, What a Fuss | Various locations across Melbourne and Docklands
Another excellent source of moustache inspiration - Burt Reynolds.