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Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Amber De Luca-Tao - 13 Jun 2017



This week’s all about (astronomical) phenomenon. The good, the bad and the deliciously yummy. We hope you had a chance to max and relax over the long weekend, because by the sounds of it, there's nothing chill on the cards for most of you this week.

Well what are you waiting for? Here’s what you’re *really*  in for this week.

Gemini

Did you do 20 mins of study (or actually get out of bed before 12pm) on Sunday? Well this week it's all about rewarding yourself for the lil’ things. Doing so will mean you're gonna be rolling in the winner’s circle this week... as long as your planets stay perfectly aligned. Enjoy it while it lasts (mwuahahah).

Go you good thing. It sounds like you deserve a day-trip to the Moorabool Valley.

Cancer

Been seeing red recently? That’s probably because colossal winds blew Mars right into your galaxy… and that wasn’t supposed to happen for another month or so. Your ability to stay composed with those around you this week will be seriously tested. A rare intergalactic disturbance like this is no easy feat to conquer.

Checking out some of Melbourne’s secret walks and waterfalls might help you keep your cool.

Leo

Leo’s, we’re getting one reading from your chart this week and it’s saying: SPLURGE. Don’t fight your higher powers and be sure to capitalise on this once-in-a-blue-moon outcome. You may be led to overindulge in carbs, so beat the bloat and have a backup outfit to replace that body-con dress you were planning on wearing Saturday night.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to ruin your night with a bad hair-do. We’ve got some hawt fashion week hair trends for you to try.

Virgo

My life is a meme. We’ve all said that to ourselves at some point. But quite frankly, this week you Virgo lot are an absolute joke. Consider yourselves the IRL version of an embarrassing meme gone viral. Something’s up with your atmosphere this week and not even we know what’s going on. There’s some astronomers out there working on it. Sad reacts only.

Surely following these insta-famous puppers will brighten up your feed and your mood. Here's hoping.

Libra

Stubbornness has always been your strong suit, but this week it’s all about learning lessons. Your reading is showing a good chance of clear skies in the near future, but for now, we’d advise you to buckle up. It’s gonna get bumpier than that massive meteor coming for your galaxy next month.

Learning you should've kept up with those workouts the hard way?  Here’s 8 winter workout apps that will defs kick your chilly ass into gear.

Scorpio

A bit lost in the world lately? The universe didn’t intentionally mean to leave you in the dark… it’s just preparing for the Winter Solstice next week. We’d give you a life map or something, but we don’t really know where to find those. The universe would love to give you some guidance this week, but apparently you don't take priority over the moon. You’re on your own for this one.

Maybe if you had worked on your dating etiquette last week you wouldn’t have to be lone-wolfing it RN.

Sagittarius

Your House of Nostalgia is lit this week. That explains all that reminiscing you’ve been doing recently. You’ve probably noticed, but it’s really starting to hold you back. Your Fifth House is empty this week, with Venus moving out. And as for you, it’s time to get moving on.

It’s also probably a good idea to start letting go of some of those things you do if you wanna be a legit adult... cause isn't that what we all want?

Capricorn

It’s time you kick your addictions to the curb. You’ve been dependent on those vices a little too much recently - caffeine overdosing in the mornings and red vino intoxicating in the evenings (or vice versa, we understand). But with your House of Freedom loaded with stars this week, it’s a sign that now's a good time to let go of those naughty habits.

Looking for addictions less naughty than a glass of red at breakfast? Here’s five of Melbourne’s best running trails for you to get your jog on.

Aquarius

Summer bods are made in winter… but so are those apple crumble pies your grandma makes. What are we saying? Eat the damn pie. There’s a giant meteor heading for your galaxy this week, but we have a feeling if you give into desire, it just might change its course.

In case your grandma doesn’t actually make apple crumble pie, we know where you can find Bakfluffins in Melbourne. Of course you want one.

Pisces

Loose change, life change, some of us hate it, but not as much as you guys. This week Uranus is changing up its orbit and it’s time you stepped out of your comfort zone too. Let Uranus work it’s celestial magic.

Just in case you’ve got a lil’ too much spare change than you care for, here’s 10 jaffles worthy of your shrapnel.

Aries

Your mumma didn’t raise no quitter. This week the stars are showing us that it’s all about perseverance for the Aries. Despite feeling the brunt of the mid-year slump, just when you feel like giving up the most, don't do it. The universe knows you're trying. Hang in there, mate.

Show everyone just how committed you really be and try your hand at making the best pumpkin soup in the world.

Taurus

Feeling like life has been running rings around you? Well, there’s only one centre of the universe, and Saturn decided to be an attention seeker this week. But don’t worry, when it’s done, it’s your time to shine brighter than the sun (take that Saturn). You're just gonna have to wait 'til Monday.

Speaking of absolutely epic shake-ups, Shannon Bennett's burger shop is opening this weekend and it's gonna be out of this world.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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