Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Amber De Luca-Tao
4th Jul 2017

New month, new you… for most of us at least. We've been in touch with the higher powers and word just-in: July's here to bring us a cosmic whirlwind of change. Just what we needed! So go on and jump in, the water's warm!

Just in case you wanted to know, here’s what you’re *really* in for this week.


You’ve made a habit of getting more smashed than your Sunday arvo avo. Your parents might not know, but the galaxy is well aware that your blood alcohol ratio isn’t even much more of a ratio anymore. We'll let you off with another round of drinking this weekend.

We've got a ripper espresso martini recipe you should make this Sat night. Live it up, cause next week you're on the waters. 


These winter temperatures are seriously low, but your spirits? They’re as a high as the sky. It’s too early to tell if there’s a specific reason why, but we don’t say that like it’s a bad thing. You’ve been a good egg lately and the universe is rewarding you for it. By the end of the week you’re gonna be one happy chappy. 

You deserve to treat yo'self. There's a new Rains store open in Melbs, FYI.


It’s official, penalty rates have been cut and you're missing them already </3. Don’t worry, we’re not dissing two-minute noodles, but if you keep up those spending habits before you land yourself a full-time job, you’ll be living on Mi Goreng for longer than you probably should.

We can't really afford to adult either, so here's an awesome list of free things to do in Melbourne this month. You're welcome.


Feeling a little empty recently? It's all that extra spare time up you seem to have up your sleeve. According to your seventh house, it’s looking like a good time for you to pick up a new hobby.

Need a good lead? Here's our list of 50 awesome things to do in Melbourne this winter.


This week is all about grand gestures. Trust your lucky stars, according to them if you start plotting now, you’re gonna be glad you did.

Is your list of things to plot starting to pile up? A feed at Phat Chicks Fried Chicken needs to be right up there.


Most people hate being the centre of attention, but your love affair with the limelight is going to have you sweatin’ bullets. Hard to believe ‘cause it’s so cold, right? The universe doesn’t revolve around you… but this week it most certainly does – and you’re in trouble.

Speaking of attention seeking, one of Eltham's latest cafes is so gorgeous, it's no wonder all eyes are on Third Chapter.


According to the alignment of your stars this week, you crossed paths with the love of your life a few days ago. At the petrol station? At the bar? At the footy? Where?! Keep yourself well-groomed, not that that's anything unusual, 'cause you’re bumping into them again. Things are gonna get kinky.

Fancy bumping into your mystery match at one of these markets, hey? 


Ambition has never been your strong suit, but it’s something you like to keep in the back pocket for a rainy day. It's a good thing there's an 85.7% chance of thunderstorm on this week's forecast, 'cause when the time's right, it’s time to dominate. Your call.

Wanna stay out of the rain? The Palm Royale is open for business in Richmond and their cocktail menu will absolutely keep you warm.


Mercury is entering your House of Romance this week, meaning you’ve got a seven day window to get all loved up. Got a bae already? Organise that dinner. Want a bae? Ask them out, it’s your time to line-up some dates.

If you’re planning on going digital, make sure you aren’t making these Tinder mistakes. Here's 22 of the worst.


Unfortunately for the Pisces, this week you’re being served up like a spicy chilli scramble – a bit of a hot mess. Your planets are totally out of whack and until they sort themselves out, life is gonna be pretty crazy. Know any Capricorns? Last week they were in total shambles, they’ll help you through it.

Chilli scrambles are never complete without a helping of cheese. Here's our guide on where to buy the best cheese in Melbs.


Your penchant for acting spontaneously is often mistaken for irrational behaviour. You've probably always felt like this is one of your greatest downfalls, but according to your Powers That Be, this week it's gonna play to your advantage - and it's about time! Never change for anyone, Aries.

Care for a spontaneous trip to one of the many awesome food and wine festivals on this winter?


Once Saturn enters its second orbit this week, you're going to be hung up on obsession with the idea of all things new. Looking for a new place to call home? A new pair of shoes? You’ve got the cosmic green light.

The Highline Restaurant is a fine dining restaurant that won’t break the bank… and you really, really need to try it.

Image credit: Gabi Stjernqvist

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