So here we are, week three of the thirst-trap games and the trainwreck continues. After Natrasha’s hatrick last week, I thought I’d seen it all. But here we are, with four new monkeys, at least five traumatising lap dances and yet another two-faced betrayal—lowering the nation's moral standards episode at a time. Now that we've reached round seven, it looks like anything goes on this little slice of 'paradise'.
Here are 51 thoughts we had during episode seven of Heartbreak Island.
- Watching these opening credits is starting to feel like a rollcall of has-beens.
- Gurrl, as if we’d believe a word of anything you’d say.
- Harry came on this show to win 100k but instead will leave with the gift of literacy.
- #Garry. That’s unfortunate.
- “I’m happy that I’m here." Too bad nobody else is.
- “What the f*ck is going on?” As if you had any idea in the first place, Josh.
- Let's hope the newbies actually have some character this time.
- The diversity with this new lot is unreal.
- House full of narcissists? In that case, welcome home.
- Unless this damn car can sprout wings, take off into outer space and magically avoid Auckland traffic, I don't want to know.
- The producers of this show really have a thing for handcuffs.
- The newbies are wasting no time.
- Josh couldn't care less whether or not Ruby gets these handcuffs off.
- At least they have a promising lap dancing career if the whole Instagram influencer thing doesn’t work out.
- Harry’s lapping it up.
- Better eels than crabs though, right Josh?
- Joshua's screaming just hit a higher note than any recent performance from Mariah Carey.
- Matilda deserves a damn Oscar for acting like she can stand Mark’s jokes.
- Daddy Lincoln is getting a telling.
- Tropi-drama. Proud of yourself Josh?
- It’s amazing TVNZ managed to get their hands on the magic mike reject auditions.
- ...looks like that lap dance wasn’t so magical.
- Harry’s possum has gone rogue.
- Is Georgia looking to jump on Liam?
- Wandering Weiting is back! Looks like Joshua is in hot water.
- Is she acutally deluded?
- Are we watching the same show, Gennady?
- Bonding or bondage, Joshua?
- A gentleman never kisses and tells. Lucky for us, Harry isn't that gentlemen.
- Aaand back to the slaughter house.
- If double elimination means double the chances of seeing Tavita go, I’m all for it.
- A nun in a cucumber field. Harry, you’re a bloody idiot, but I appreciate you.
- Lincoln, I won’t ditch you. BUT...
- Someone please make a boxing match between Natrasha and Ruby happen.
- #STAYNA is back!
- Natrasha, you just got PLAYED.
- You’re a loser, Tavita. Walk the plank.
- Could this be the end for Gennady?
- Harry calling out Gennady for causing drama is like water calling itself wet.
- Harry’s happy to help out with Gennadys departure.
- Gennady’s about to pop a vein smiling this hard.
- Yeah the lads are stoked.
- NATRASHA IS OUTTA HERE buh-bye.
- Candace may not have been around a long time, but seems like she sure had a good time.
- Didn't see that coming.
- Two faces, you got that right Daddy Lincoln.
- Gennady is just a horrible person. Daddy’s disappointed.
- Tavita is the TV equivalent of herpes. You just can't get rid of him.
- Gennady, your love is unspoken because it DOESN'T EXIST.
- Totally ecstatic.
- There is a bigger chance of winning 1st division twice than Tavita ever going there Gennady.
Image Credit: Heartbreak Island, The Notebook, He's Just Not That Into You