51 Thoughts We Had Watching Heartbreak Island Episode 7

So here we are, week three of the thirst-trap games and the trainwreck continues. After Natrasha’s hatrick last week, I thought I’d seen it all. But here we are, with four new monkeys, at least five traumatising lap dances and yet another two-faced betrayal—lowering the nation's moral standards episode at a time. Now that we've reached round seven, it looks like anything goes on this little slice of 'paradise'. 

Here are 51 thoughts we had during episode seven of Heartbreak Island.

1. Watching these opening credits is starting to feel like a rollcall of has-beens. 
2. Gurrl, as if we’d believe a word of anything you’d say. 
   
   
    
3. Harry came on this show to win 100k but instead will leave with the gift of literacy.
4. #Garry. That’s unfortunate.
5. “I’m happy that I’m here." Too bad nobody else is. 
6. “What the f*ck is going on?” As if you had any idea in the first place, Josh.
7. Let's hope the newbies actually have some character this time. 
   
   
    
8. The diversity with this new lot is unreal.
9. House full of narcissists? In that case, welcome home.
10. Unless this damn car can sprout wings, take off into outer space and magically avoid Auckland traffic, I don't want to know. 
11. The producers of this show really have a thing for handcuffs.
    
    
     
12. The newbies are wasting no time. 
13. Josh couldn't care less whether or not Ruby gets these handcuffs off. 
14. At least they have a promising lap dancing career if the whole Instagram influencer thing doesn’t work out.
    
    
     
15. Harry’s lapping it up.
    
    
     
16. Better eels than crabs though, right Josh?
17. Joshua's screaming just hit a higher note than any recent performance from  Mariah Carey.
    
     
     
18. Matilda deserves a damn Oscar for acting like she can stand Mark’s jokes.
19. Daddy Lincoln is getting a telling.
20. Tropi-drama. Proud of yourself Josh?
    
    
     
21. It’s amazing TVNZ managed to get their hands on the magic mike reject auditions. 
    
    
     
22. ...looks like that lap dance wasn’t so magical.
    
    
     
23. Harry’s possum has gone rogue.
24. Is Georgia looking to jump on Liam?
25. Wandering Weiting is back! Looks like Joshua is in hot water.
    
    
     
26. Is she acutally deluded?
    
    
     
27. Are we watching the same show, Gennady?
28. Bonding or bondage, Joshua?
    
    
     
29. A gentleman never kisses and tells. Lucky for us, Harry isn't that gentlemen. 
30. Aaand back to the slaughter house.
31. If double elimination means double the chances of seeing Tavita go, I’m all for it. 
    
    
     
32. A nun in a cucumber field. Harry, you’re a bloody idiot, but I appreciate you.
33. Lincoln, I won’t ditch you. BUT...
34. Someone please make a boxing match between Natrasha and Ruby happen.
35. #STAYNA is back! 
36. Natrasha, you just got PLAYED.
37. You’re a loser, Tavita. Walk the plank. 
38. Could this be the end for Gennady? 
39. Harry calling out Gennady for causing drama is like water calling itself wet.
    
    
     
40. Harry’s happy to help out with Gennadys departure. 
    
    
     
41. Gennady’s about to pop a vein smiling this hard.
    
    
     
42. Yeah the lads are stoked.
43. NATRASHA IS OUTTA HERE buh-bye.
44. Candace may not have been around a long time, but seems like she sure had a good time.
    
    
     
45. Didn't see that coming.
    
    
     
46. Two faces, you got that right Daddy Lincoln.
47. Gennady is just a horrible person. Daddy’s disappointed.
48. Tavita is the TV equivalent of herpes. You just can't get rid of him. 
49. Gennady, your love is unspoken because it DOESN'T EXIST.
    
    
     
50. Totally ecstatic.
    
    
     
51. There is a bigger chance of winning 1st division twice than Tavita ever going there Gennady. 

Image Credit: Heartbreak Island, The Notebook, He's Just Not That Into You