Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Mona Chatskin
2nd Aug 2016

horoscopes, weekly horoscopes, funny horoscopes, auckland horoscopes, auckland funny

Over here at The Urban List, we want our readers to know what's in store for them for the week ahead. So we're bringing you horoscopes for real people—who want their cosmic predictions with a side of honesty. Here are your horror-scopes, including suggestions for where to drown those mystical sorrows when you find out what you're *really* in for this week.


Pisces, the start of a new month means a reinvigoration of your love and social life! That means it’s time to pull yourself out of that monotonous routine, and try do things a little differently. No more cruising to that same convenience store for a feed, time to check out some of Auckland’s trendy lunch spots. 

Where you need to go this week: How about this new venue to hit up with your mates? 


You’ve been channelling an independent state of mind for the past few months. But with the shifts of planetary powers, you need to let go of that self-interest and think about those around you. Next time you buy some sweets from Petal Cupcakes, maybe grab some for your friends too? Wouldn’t kill you. 

Where you need to go this week: How convenient, Petal Cupcakes has just opened up its second location! 


Your 4th house of home and family is becoming powerful this week, so make sure things are in check at your crib. No matter how ambitious you are, there’s nothing worse than neglecting those around you. It’s all about that balance! Take a chiller from the career this week and focus on the more important things. 

Where you need to go this week: Here’s some tips to help you rejig things in the office. 


The planets are moving east for you, Leo. That means personal power and confidence is working its way up! But don’t get ahead of yourself, and instead work on being your best self. And if your best self needs those $400 shoes. Who are we to tell you otherwise?! 

Where you need to go this week: Elevate your best self with the help of these guys. 


We know you’re a smarty-pants, but this month your intellect is sky rocketing even more. You can absorb everything around you quickly, and make the most of your environment. Change and instability are still going strong this week, but don’t let that deter you.

Where you need to go this week: You can relax and learn a thing or two if you take a weekend excursion to any of these places.


Your finances and career at their peak, Cancer–so that’s pretty swell. But your friends and fam seem to be wholly unsupportive (and let’s face it, downright irritating) this week. For the time being, don’t waste your energy on them. They’ll come around soon enough. Instead, focus on treating yo’self with some vino and that cashmere knit you’ve been eyeing. 

Where you need to go this week: This is the ultimate place to focus on yourself. 


Your 12th house of spirituality is becoming powerful this week, so it’s time to get your zen on. You may feel a little lonesome this month, but use this solitude for the better. Instead of watching Friends reruns, grab yourself a pressed juice and get your butt down to yoga! 

Where you need to go this week: This gorgeous studio is redefining the meaning of working out. 


Libra, after last month’s rollercoaster, hopefully things will be a bit steadier this month. You’re off to a good week, and things seem to be looking up! Try make the most of the good times and do something out of the ordinary with your mates. After all, you don’t know how much longer this positivity will last. 

Where you need to go this week: Venture out and head along to these Restaurant Month events to mix things up. 


Still tackling that winter flu and can’t seem to beat it? Or are you just feeling overall crappy? Don’t stress, we get it. It might be time to chuck a sickie and curl up at home. Grab yourself a cuppa’ and switch on that Gossip Girl marathon–you deserve it.

Where you need to go this week: Get your friends to pick you up some ‘get well soon’ treats from here


Sagittarius, get ready for a heccas month. This might just be the most active time of the year for you, so be sure to buckle up. Your high energy levels mean you need to put yourself out there! Perhaps download a new dating app? But careful not to overdo it, we don’t want you losing your head. 

Where you need to go this week: Everyone loves a good drink with good friends so here are the best places to grab shared cocktails.


It’s time to get sloppy. You’ve been working a little too hard for the past few weeks and if you don’t let loose soon, who knows what will happen? So go on, grab yourself a bottle of your favourite vino and unwind. It is well and truly time. Also, we don’t just mean tipsy. Go in it for the long haul.

Where you need to go this week: These places are perfect to dance the night away. 


Mars is leaving your 10th house this week, which means love is becoming your predominant interest for the start of this month. Don’t neglect your significant other, and be sure to show them a little affection. For those single peeps out there, keep an eye out for any potential encounters—it may be your lucky week.

Where you need to go this week: This is a perfect brunch spot for you and your other half. 

Need more suggestions to deal with your week ahead? Search our Directory for the best of Auckland.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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