Clichés aren’t always accurate, but when it comes to Perth…well, there are just some things we can’t hide from the world. Here are the 14 Perth clichés that deep down in your heart, you know are true.
- We say “it’s a dry heat” a lot. Well, we’re sorry, but it IS a dry heat. Tell us the last time you experienced a really humid day in Perth. Can’t remember? That’s right, because it’s a dry heat, always.
- We go to Bali a lot. Yes we know, we should be ‘holidaying in our own backyard’ and stimulating the WA economy, blah blah. But let’s be honest, it’s cheaper to have a fortnight in Bali than a weekend in Margaret River. So Bali wins. Plus, how good is nasi goreng?
- We’re bad drivers. One of the biggest signs of good character is being able to admit your flaws. So we will (begrudgingly) put our hand up and admit that Perthies are rubbish drivers. We can’t stick to speed limits. We can’t park properly. We sit in the right hand lane when we’re not overtaking. We lane-hop. We tailgate. We rubberneck to catch a glimpse of anything happening in an emergency lane. We don’t indicate. We queue in roundabouts. And we keep our foot on the brake ALL. THE. TIME.
- And we absolutely cannot merge. We can’t. No explanation needed.
- We LOVE footy. Soccer? Rugby? Are those the names of Josh Kennedy’s dogs?
- We think it’s incredibly newsworthy that there are sharks in the ocean. Every time a surfer or swimmer encounters marine life, it goes viral on social media and is splashed across the front page of the newspaper. And we EAT. IT. UP. #perthnews
- We tell everyone about our beaches. And rightly so, because they are damn amazing. Nowhere else in the world has beaches like ours, and everyone should know about it.
- We freak out when the sun isn't shining. Next time it rains for two minutes in Perth, take a look around at everyone struggling with their umbrellas—we have no idea how to use these contraptions because we rarely ever need to.
- We don’t ‘do’ public transport. We are obsessed with our cars and have no qualms about proudly informing people “Oh no, I don’t do public transport.”
- We hate Victorians. Because they’re arrogant. All of them.
- We’re happy to pay an obscene amount for breakfast. It’s no secret that a lot of eateries are still in mining-boom mode and will happily charge us $8 for a large skim latte and $22 for poached eggs on toast. Eh, we’ll pay it.
- We really like being outside. A Sunday in Perth is full of people walking or cycling along the coast; having barbeques at their local beach park; or enjoying a beer in the sunshine at their local.
- We’re really bloody friendly. Visit any other capital city and you’ll return home certain that Perthies are some of the most chilled out, friendly people on Earth. We always say hello. We greet everyone with a ‘how are ya mate?’ We give our parking tickets to people if there is still some time left on them. And keep an eye on strangers’ belongings at the beach when they go for a quick dip and leave their gear on the sand.
- We take it for granted. Whatever we might have to whinge about, sometimes we need to take a step back and appreciate our life here in Perth. It’s pretty damn good.
Here are 24 Things To Never Say To A Perthie.
Image credit: Elle Borgward