24 Things To Never Say To A Perthie

By Kirsty Petrides
15th Jul 2017

Western Australians are notorious for being some of the most relaxed people on the planet. With such a chilled out attitude, you’d think it would be pretty damn hard to piss us off. However, in much the same way it’s ok for you to make fun of your siblings, but not ok for someone outside of your family to—we Perthies don’t enjoy being mocked by outsiders.

If you would like to make friends with us and avoid alienating yourself in the mighty West, here are 24 things you should never say to a Perthie.

  1. “This beach sand isn’t that white, in fact, I’ve seen whiter sand elsewhere.”
  2. “I prefer this Yarra Valley cab sav over that Margaret River one.” 
  3. “Matthew Pavlich was from Adelaide, you know; he’s not even Western Australian.”
  4. “I think Anthony Mundine is a much better fighter than Danny Green.”
  5. “Why don’t you guys have daylight savings?”
  6. “Julie Bishop should not be our next prime minister.”
  7. “Do you guys have internet over there?”
  8. “Karijini National Park, now that looks like a bit of a snooze, doesn’t it?”
  9. “Jessica Gomes isn’t even that hot.”
  10. "Melbourne's food scene is way more impressive than Perth's." 
  11. “Rugby is way better than AFL.”
  12. “Nah, not really keen on going down south for the long weekend.”
  13. “This sunset isn’t that impressive.”
  14. “You know, Eddie McGuire doesn’t seem like THAT bad a bloke.”
  15. “I don’t really feel like going to the beach.”
  16. “Wow, Perth is like, really far away isn’t it?”
  17. “Isn’t it a bit hot for a BBQ today?”
  18. “Heath Ledger wasn’t even that good an actor.”
  19. “Coral Bay isn’t that pretty, I’ve seen bluer water in other places.”
  20. “Now, you know who seems like a real rubbish bloke? That Daniel Ricciardo fella.”
  21. “No thanks, I would not like a Matso’s Ginger Beer.”
  22. “Cycling around Rottnest doesn’t sound like a fun thing to do at all.”
  23. “Perth, is that a suburb in Sydney? Are you near Bondi?”
  24. “Margaret Court, she’s from Perth isn’t she?”

Perth is awesome, so why not celebrate our fair city by checking these things off your bucket list.

Image credit: Louise Coghill

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