When you hail from the most isolated city in the world (don’t act like you haven’t dropped that fun fact when travelling overseas before) chances are, you have some idiosyncrasies. You know, certain habits, sayings or quirks that make people go "Ohhhh—you must be from Perth."
Now some might say that’s a bit weird, but we think it’s damn awesome. We love that Perthies are so easily identifiable. We love that our care-free, laid-back spirits radiate from our beautifully tanned faces and chronically empty wallets (because stuff is expensive here.)
Here are some of the tell-tale signs that you were one hundred percent, without a doubt, born and bred in Perth. West-side represent.
- As soon as you meet someone new, you ask them where they grew up, what school they went to, what uni they attended, where they live and where they work so you can immediately establish how you know each other.
- You completely embarrass your travel buddies when you arrive in a holiday destination where it’s snowing—"OH MY GOD LOOK AT IT! It looks exactly like it does in Home Alone! Take a photo of me, wait let me make a snow angel first, OKAY TAKE ONE NOW!"
- You have never been to Karijini, Kununurra or Broome, but you have been to Bali 63 times.
- You’re a sensational swimmer.
- When you’re walking through a city, you don’t try to knock people over as you walk past them.
- You don’t own an umbrella, but you do own 11 pairs of sunglasses.
- You do a quick scan of your surroundings before saying anything bad about anyone, because it’s highly likely that person’s friend, family member, spouse, colleague or neighbour is right behind you.
- You sit puzzled and perplexed for several hours when you add a fellow Perthie on Facebook and you have NO MUTUAL FRIENDS.
- You go to London in the middle of their summer and wonder how people live in these icy cold conditions.
- You suggest taking a footy to all types of social engagements. Barbeque—shall we take a footy? Picnic—shall we take a footy? Wedding—shall we take a footy?
- You know your way around Seminyak better than you do your own suburb.
- You have a child-like curiosity for people who live in land-locked countries—"Sooo, there’s like, no beach? So, what would you do if you, like, wanted to go to the beach?"
- You call everyone "mate"—even people you dislike.
- You have the uncanny skill of being able to convey many thoughts, feelings and reactions with just a single "mate". Example: when another driver cuts in front you and you respond with "Maaaaaaaate!!" this translates to—"Come on now fellow motorist, we both know you should really look in your side mirror before changing lanes!"
- You grab a jacket before leaving the house because the forecast is 26 and sunny.
- You think $13 for a pint is reasonable.
- You cry tears of joy when a barista or shop assistant isn’t an absolute jerk to you.
- You wear thongs everywhere.
- You use the word "heaps" a lot—"That’s heaps funny." "Sorry heaps." "Freo is heaps far away."
- You are highly skilled at driving a car using just one fingertip on the steering wheel, because you don’t want third degree burns on your palms.
- You offer an icy cold beer to plumbers/electricians/mechanics/any person coming to your house to perform manual labour.
- You’re not familiar with foreign terms like "soccer" or "rugby".
- Your cousin’s best friend’s neighbour’s brother is Sam Worthington.
- You don’t know what it feels like to jump in your car and arrive at your destination in under 30 minutes.
- You feel robbed if the temperature dips below 28 degrees in summer.
And in case you need more proof you're a Perth local through and through, here's 28 Things You've Definitely Said If You Live In Perth.
Image credit: Nancy Hanna