Funny

32 Things Only Economy Flyers Understand

By Mollie Maloney. - 07 Dec 2016

economy flying

The art of flying should be a tasteful one. We like to think back to all of those times when we’ve waltzed onto the plane, downed a glass of champagne, lapped up some caviar and nodded off in one of those cute AF plane-beds, only to wake up rested and at our final destination. 

Reality check people— this does not happen. We sometimes even question whether real humans even fly first class. This is a shout out to all our friends (that's you guys) who aren’t offered that pre-departure beverage, who aren’t in the lounge reading today’s paper, and who have genuine anxiety about your bag ending up in Morocco. 

Fergie’s put it one way, flying first class up in the sky, champagne living the life, but we think we can think of another; 32 other ways to be exact. So brought to you directly from row 62, here are 32 things that only economy flyers will understand. 

  1. You know that as soon as someone puts their seat back, it’s game over. Your seat is going back too, and all the rows behind you as well. 
  2. You bask in the comradery that only happens when you hear a baby cry. The stranger sitting next to you also sighs. We’re all in this together, friend. 
  3. You are jealous of the guy in 42C who thought to bring the adapter for his noise-cancelling headphones so he can watch his movie in peace.
  4. 42C also asks for another bottle of wine and the flight attendant happily gives it to him— 42C who are you and where did you learn such wizardry? 
  5. You look out the window while listening to sad music and nostalgically remember the good ol days back on land, even if your flight is just the 1 hour from Sydney to Melbourne.
  6. You get savvy about your entertainment: if you have to pay for it, BYO iPad.
  7. You are happy to dish out the $7.50 for the packet of chips at the airport if it means you don’t have to think about the frozen chicken wrap on the lunch menu.
  8. That being said, you actually don’t mind the Qantas chicken curry and would ask for the recipe if it wasn’t consider a social faux pas.
  9. You get a bit awkward when people walk up and down the aisle for exercise and peer into your seat— don’t judge me watching High School Musical 3, we’re not even in a time zone.
  10. You wonder if the person you are sitting next to is your soul mate, until they fall asleep and have an actual life-threatening snoring disease.
  11. You wonder where on earth the waves of bad smells can come from in such a confined space.
  12. When your row mate laughs a little too much at their movie, and you just don’t quite know how to react.
  13. When your seat pocket at the end of the flight contains not only your passport and phone; but your crushed instant noodle cup, 10 tissues, the left over apple you were going to eat and the can of lemonade you forgot about during your long haul 2 hour flight.
  14. When the flight attendant walks through from the business class section into economy through the dividing curtain and you get a small glimpse of civilisation. 
  15. WHY IS BOTTLED WATER $6.
  16. When you exhaust the battery charge of all devices and just sit there and end up reading the emergency evacuation information card for the 12th time.
  17. There’s always one dude who falls asleep with their seat light on, honestly those lights are brighter than the sun.
  18. When someone is sick in front of you and you just know it’s a chain reaction. Did someone say vom-cano? 
  19. When you stretch out and awkwardly touch the person’s legs in front of you. That is contact you just don’t need 30,000 feet above sea level. 
  20. When you’re travelling and you end up stalking another couple, from the check in line, to security, and on to the plane. 
  21. Said couple then rocks up by the pool at your hotel and you wonder if the world is round and whether it does actually spin.
  22. You are anaphylactic and they give you peanuts. 
  23. When you wake up with a broken neck from sleeping. 
  24. When you fly in a new month and you get the new entertainment #winning
  25. When you fly twice in the same month, and wonder how many times you can sanely watch Sex and the City.
  26. You always watch your neighbour’s movie when you lose interest in your own.
  27. When you start crying in a sad movie and they turn on the lights for breakfast.
  28. You pretend to turn your phone onto aeroplane mode, but in reality you live life on the edge and don’t.
  29. You have headphones on and you’re not listening to anything.  Why do we do this?
  30. You never get a spare seat next to you, and that’s just a fact. 
  31. You make up elaborate fake life stories for the person next to you, but it’s okay because you’ll never see them again. 
  32. When your ankles literally double in size by the end of the flight and you think wow I really should’ve done those DVT exercises. 

Did you know you can now watch Netflix offline!? #Nailedit 


Design Credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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